It is 5 years since I came to Australia. The longest I ever stayed continuously in any country since leaving India in 1994. And that makes me feel miserable.

I really want to go and live in South America and learn Spanish. I was thinking of Venezuela, but then I read about Guyana, Anglo Caribbean country with 43% Indo Guyanese population, Guyana sounds a lot more interesting than Venezuela. I am still figuring out a way to get there and I know sooner or later I will blog from there 🙂

One thing for sure though is that I prefer to call Australia home. 5 years ago, I didn’t think I would last a year here. So far, I have survived a bush fire, flood  and drought. I have met my share of poisonous snakes, spiders and box jelly fish. However, I also wake up every morning listening to bird songs ( be it summer or winter).the sky is mostly blue most of the time and light pollution is a lot lesser than N. America and I can see a lot more stars at night.

As I grow older, living in a warm climate is a lot more appealing to my weary, arthritis prone bones. I can go for a walk at any time of the day/year without having to worry about inclement weather. Though I still hate the reverse order of season and much prefer to have Christmas in winter, my bones don’t complain when I don’t have to shovel the snow. Besides, I have long vacation during Christmas time and can travel.

Yaya got back home at 8:45 pm last night. Before she left for school in the morning, she informed me “mom, few of my classmates and I are going for a Latin Dance lesson near city after school and I will be late”

As you can see, she didn’t ask me for my permission to go for the dance lesson. I thought about it as this whole independence thing is an unchartered territory for me. I figured If at 16, the govt allows her to apply for drivers license without  parental consent, then perhaps I have to accept that she can make her own decisions. But I was still a bit annoyed, even though there was no reason for me to be annoyed other than the fact that I am fast becoming a Queen without a crown and sceptre.

A part of me knows that Latin dance is so much fun and if you know how to dance, then you will have a great time when you go clubbing. ( You don’t have to sit like a wet blanket when everyone else is dancing) Yaya is at an age where she should learn to dance and I think she is doing the right thing. But she is also my little baby. ( I know she is 16, but still) I know I can’t stop her from going out and I know I really shouldn’t stop her from living her life..But I am so scared of the unknown.

At about 7:30 pm, she called me to say that she is at the bus station and will catch the next bus and is expected home in about an hour. Until now, she never took public transport after 5 pm, because she felt the passengers who take the bus after work are creepy.

At 8;35, I heard my son’s phone ringing and he came and told me ” Mom, I am going to the bus stop to wait for Yaya” He took the torch and went to get his sister.

I guess in another few years, my son will also be coming home late and then it will be baby’s turn..and then they all leave home..

As usual, I took my youngest for her basketball game last Saturday. The game usually gets over by 12.30 pm and I have to come back home and cook lunch. Weekends are there, so you can recover and recharge your batteries and in my case, that isn’t possible, for I have so much to do every weekend. ( Laundry, grocery shopping gardening, the list is endless).

Due to some unknown reason, there was a massive traffic jam on the way back home and I got home after 2 pm feeling annoyed, hungry and angry.

I kind of expected that Yaya would make something for lunch. She did. She made a sandwich for herself. My son too was home after his work and he also didn’t cook anything and I was annoyed with him as well, even though I knew he just came back home.

I went to my room to change and noticed on my bed a Calvin and Hobbes 20th anniversary book with a little note from my son that said “mom, I know you already own the same book, but yours is  badly dog-eared and I found this at the thrift shop and bought it for you”

Mothering is a really tiring job, but the fringe benefits are spectacular.

Tomorrow ( my wed) is a public holiday here. I hate midweek public holiday. however I really need a break.. It is still cold most mornings and I haven’t been to the beach for weeks. So I think I will drive down to Byron bay.

Thu and Fri back to Uni

So ” I’ll be back” on Monday

Yaya got her L license yesterday.

Night before, she filled the form ( that reminds me, I didn’t have to sign anything, I thought govt would want the parents’ consent), collected all the documents she needed to take, asked me for the money ( both for sitting the test and for the license).

After school, she took the train to the nearest place where she could sit for the test.

She passed the test, paid the fees, got the license and then called me to ask if I could pick her up.

I am impressed by the fact that she could do all these on her own and didn’t require my assistance. I think of all the things I am to do as a parent, teaching children to be self reliant is the most important thing to do. I was temped to sit with her and go through the sample questions for the test. I wanted to check and see if she took all the documents that are needed. I was worried that if she loses her passport, she might not be able to go to Mexico ( too little time to get a new passport) and wanted to tell her to be extra careful with her passport. I was worried about letting her carry so much money to school. ( 22 $ for the test and 150$ for the license) In the end, I took a deep breath and told myself, she is 16 and not a baby anymore. She will be fine.

And now the fun starts. When I reached my street , she asked me ” mom, can I drive rest of the way”. Much as I wanted to tell her, No, not in my car, I couldn’t break her spirit few hours after she got her license. So I let her. The road is absolutely straight, yet she missed hitting my neighbours letter box by a fraction of a cm.  She needs 100 hours on the road and I have to sit with her when she drives to get that 100 hours. She wants to drive to school every morning with me sitting beside her. I honestly don’t think my heart and my car will survive.

The best part of eidetic memory is that I know exactly where everything is and notice the slightest change. I have an ” in tray” at home for my children to place all the letters and forms that are sent from their school. Yesterday I noticed that the papers have been moved and without a doubt I knew my youngest child has tried to hide a consent form between the old and new forms in the tray.

Her school runs a program called Brainways ( for gifted and talented children) and she is often selected by the teacher to attend the program. She doesn’t want to do it and hides the consent form from me.

I don’t know why she doesn’t want to attend. I tried asking her for the reason. She said “it is really boring” ( My son used to wait for the beginning of each semester, so he could attend Brainways) I refuse to force her to attend a program she doesn’t want to attend. But there is always a niggling  feeling..am I doing the right thing?

After searching for the name of a movie for the past 22 years, Yesterday I finally found it.

It was the first English movie Beautiful Eyes and I watched together. ( Geetanjali was our first movie, but it was in Telugu). I can’t remember the name of the Theatre. It was close to where Deepam silks is now on MG road.

I have hardly watched much English movies prior to going to Bangalore and didn’t know any of the actors. But, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. Trust me, for an 18 year old there was nothing more special than a moment like this. Dark theatres = plenty of kisses as well, so I don’t remember much of the story line, except there was a scene in the movie when the cop and the trail guide meets a bear. It was the first time I saw a  a brown  bear, that too a big one. Until then I have only seen those tiny black bears you see in circus/travelling road shows.

I have asked every one of my friends of my age if they remember watching a movie with a bear in it. How to find a movie without knowing the title or the actors?

Yesterday was another one of those days where I couldn’t sleep and I thought I would search for the movie on google. I searched for black actors acting as a cop in the 80’s and other combinations and I finally found the movie.

Shoot to kill. ( I can’t believe that I didn’t know Sidney Poitier acted in it)

I heard on telly last night while watching Criminal Minds ” death ends a life, but not a relationship” ( Mitch Albom)

And I will live the rest of my days with the memory that I was once loved.. very much.

A friend of mine who is half Mallu and half British told me this story. This happened when he was 17 years old and was doing his pre-degree in a prestigious college in Kerala ( many many moons ago). His mom was working as a missionary and one day the church Pathiri  phoned the mother and asked her to come to the church office immediately. The mother thought it must be something to do with her missionary work and went there and found the Pathiri walking back and forth in front of the church, anxiously waiting for the mother..

“Come with me” Said the Pathiri as soon as the mother reached the church gate.

And together the mother and the Pathiri walked towards the college where her son is studying. They walked and walked and finally they arrived at a place behind the ladies hostel. There was a huge jackfruit tree there and the Pathiri pointed up the tree. There on the tree is my friend, with a binoculars in one hand and  looking at the ladies hostel . and holding  a beedi in his other  hand.

The priest was smiling gleefully, because he caught the boy red handed and is now waiting eagerly for the mother to do the right thing.. Punish the boy.

Mother looked at the pathiri and told him “There is something called supply and demand, the girls must be supplying something that demands my son’s attention” And she went back home.

That evening, she told her son ” if you must smoke, then smoke cigarettes, not beedi, at least the filter might protect you from getting lung cancer in your 30’s”

Every time  my children do something naughty, I always remember this story. Had I been in my friend’s place, my mother would have skinned me alive, because Achante munnil nanam keduthi, nattukaru entho parayum? Ini njan enginaya ellarudeyum mugathu nokkunney? Ahankari, ethinano kashu chilavakki ninney okkey padippikkuney? ( She would have berated me for embarrassing her). Most parents forget that they too were once teenagers and have done a lot of naughty things.

Francis Bacon wrote ” if mountain doesn’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain”

From Jan of this year, Yaya counted the days to her 16th birthday so she could apply for her L license. She went through all the questions and did the practice exams, bugged her classmates who didn’t apply for their license when they turned 16, drove my friend’s car at his station ( ranch), (absolutely  illegal).

Come 16 th birthday, there is no sign of her going for the L license exam. I waited few weeks and asked her “When are you applying for your L”

I have often wondered how many seconds it would take a normal person to turn to a banshee. In her case, it was less than a second and she screamed at me and told me ” Mom, because you bugged me, I am not getting the L now. I will get it when I feel like it”

What I wanted to do was to do a ping pong her face..( I knew a Chinese Malaysian mother who used to slap her child on either side of the face alternating and called the punishment   ping pong your face), But I am the mother here and much as she annoyed me very much, I kept quiet.

Honestly speaking, at that moment I thought, I don’t give a rat’s ass if she gets her license or not and left it as it is.

But the thing is, I don’t know why she didn’t want to get her license, the only thing I can think of is that she is afraid. Perhaps the whole growing up thing is scaring her, perhaps it is the responsibilities that she will have to take up when she sits behind the wheel that is terrifying her. However, right now is the best time to get the L, go for lessons and get the P license. Next year, she will be very busy with her studies and it is much easier to get the license in your home country than in a strange land with strange laws ( there are no 4 way streets in Australia 🙂  )

Yaya is going on a student exchange to Mexico next month and I thought I would apply for a credit card for her. One of the requirements for that is a driver’s license. ( proof of identification). When I spoke to the customer service officer, she told me, without a license, there is no way Yaya can get a credit card. rogi, vaidyan and paalu..

I didn’t tell Yaya that without a license, she isn’t going to get a credit card. Instead, I told Yaya, I would like to apply for a credit card for her and she was very excited and we went to the post office to lodge the proof of identity. Her passport gave 50 points, but she still needed another 50. The lady at the counter asked Yaya ” Have you got a license?” Yaya shook her head.

“Without a license, you can’t lodge the proof of identity” She told Yaya.

Yaya is going for her L exam this weekend 🙂