Off the beaten path

As I can’t really write a lot of things I want to, today we go off the beaten path.

I have always carved my own path. Occasionally some of my medical college classmates would write a comment here and there on my fb account and all of the comments are of the same category. “We really can’t picture you as a mom, that too the mother of three kids or let alone imagine how far you have come”

Sometimes, I do wonder how did I manage to live a life like this.  Perhaps the only thing I can say is that I am the owner of an indomitable spirit. However much I get beaten, I still rise.

A year ago, while I was undergoing some medical treatment,  I asked myself, if I had all the money in the world, what is the one thing I would buy?

7 years ago, when I arrived here, I was shopping around for a car and walked in to a car dealership. And the sales person gave me one look and ignored me. He gave me a form to fill and disappeared. Few months later, as the market was slowing down(due to K.Rudd changing some policy) i received a lovely email from the same showroom asking me very politely if I had any questions about their cars..and I didn’t  have any questions, I had plenty of answers and I told them to F.off and explained to them how I was treated when I went to the showroom. They apologized and it made no difference to me.

So, If I had all the money in the world, I wanted to walk in to the same car dealership and order their most expensive car and pay cash. Totally out of this world ambition and clearly I was out of my mind. But then again  I carve my own path..

And so with that dream in my mind and the fact that I will be 50 in 3.5 years and I want to drive that car on my 50th, I decided to do something about it.

I read about all the shares again and about 6 months ago, I bought a lot of shares in a mining company . NTL( New Talisman Gold). I bought the shares for 0.006 and within a month the share prices tanked to 0.004. But I had faith in my research and I had a strong feeling that it will get better. And it did. It is now 0.016. And I am planning to leave it alone for a little while longer and if the shares have a good run.. I will own a beautiful car that cost twice more than my house. If it tanked, I will find a guy who owns the car(joking la)

 

 

Here I am

First of all thank you all for mails and comments asking me if I am alright.

I am not. I have had the worst few weeks of my life. And I am not able to write what I am going through here.

I started this blog in 2005 as I needed a place to write the good, bad and  ugly things that happened/s in my life. I  have MS and I wanted a place to keep my memories safe, so my kids will have access to them when my brain will no longer function. Most people have family they can lean on to in times of trouble. I don’t have that, so I relied on strangers around the world. Many of you have offered me a shoulder to lean on in times of trouble. We shared the laughter and shed the tears together.

It was comforting to know I was not alone.

My oldest sister used to read my diaries when I was a teenager and it then her snooping progressed to coming to my hostel and going through my stuff..and once she even came to the house where I stayed in Bangalore while I was away and got the key from the landlord and went through my stuff.

And now my sisters started to stalk me in this blog to an extent that even when they are on holidays in Timbuktu or Slovenia  or wherever, they still visit my blog

I have made it clear many times why I walked away from my family. Apart from the fact that we shared a womb and a horrible childhood, I have nothing to do with my sisters. I do not have the contact details of my sisters and have made no attempt in the past 8 years to have any contact with any of them. I have not seen my youngest sister for well over a decade. I have never met my nephews or know their names. I will never see any of my sisters in this life time. I know one should never say never. But this is one thing I am pretty sure of. The one thing I wanted was to protect my children from my family. I felt the best gift I could give my children was to keep them as far away as possible from my family.  Yet, when my sisters are reading this blog, I am not protecting my kids from them.

They have effectively limited my ability to write whatever that I wanted to write. Perhaps that is their aim.

I wish they would leave me alone.