She needs me

So, I try to talk to Amma over the phone at least once a day. Sometime ago, she mentioned that hearing my voice is soothing to her and I know what she actually meant is that please call me everyday, and I try.

Yesterday when I phoned her, she mentioned she is unable to sleep at night,gets palpitation and feels very unsettled. Then she asked ” is it possible to come back to Brisbane and stay with you soon?”

The way she said it broke my heart.

Amma was never a good parent, but she needs me now.

how fast the tables turned.

I remember distinctly how she made my life a living hell 10 years ago when she stayed with me. I remember how she hid the gifts I bought for her birthday under my towel in the linen closet.. perfectly executed plan for she knew, I will not take a new towel before leaving and when I return that is the first thing I would do and will see her treachery.

I think what I learned from my mother is that, life is a bitch.

I don’t think there is a soul on earth that would blame me if I turn my back on my mother. Fortunately, i am not vengeful and still be able to rise above the hatred and anger.

I think that is the benefit of this blog. Writing about my abuses were cathartic.

I am applying for her visa. I will have to go to India and pick her up. Please don’t laugh when you read the next sentence. I look forward to going to India, so I can buy the safety valve and the rubber seal for my pressure cooker I own two pressure cookers that are currently sitting idle because I couldn’t find the right safety valve here and the pishukki in me won’t pay the shipping costs to buy from India.

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