The reluctant child

The best part of eidetic memory is that I know exactly where everything is and notice the slightest change. I have an ” in tray” at home for my children to place all the letters and forms that are sent from their school. Yesterday I noticed that the papers have been moved and without a doubt I knew my youngest child has tried to hide a consent form between the old and new forms in the tray.

Her school runs a program called Brainways ( for gifted and talented children) and she is often selected by the teacher to attend the program. She doesn’t want to do it and hides the consent form from me.

I don’t know why she doesn’t want to attend. I tried asking her for the reason. She said “it is really boring” ( My son used to wait for the beginning of each semester, so he could attend Brainways) I refuse to force her to attend a program she doesn’t want to attend. But there is always a niggling I doing the right thing?


After searching for the name of a movie for the past 22 years, Yesterday I finally found it.

It was the first English movie Beautiful Eyes and I watched together. ( Geetanjali was our first movie, but it was in Telugu). I can’t remember the name of the Theatre. It was close to where Deepam silks is now on MG road.

I have hardly watched much English movies prior to going to Bangalore and didn’t know any of the actors. But, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. Trust me, for an 18 year old there was nothing more special than a moment like this. Dark theatres = plenty of kisses as well, so I don’t remember much of the story line, except there was a scene in the movie when the cop and the trail guide meets a bear. It was the first time I saw a  a brown  bear, that too a big one. Until then I have only seen those tiny black bears you see in circus/travelling road shows.

I have asked every one of my friends of my age if they remember watching a movie with a bear in it. How to find a movie without knowing the title or the actors?

Yesterday was another one of those days where I couldn’t sleep and I thought I would search for the movie on google. I searched for black actors acting as a cop in the 80’s and other combinations and I finally found the movie.

Shoot to kill. ( I can’t believe that I didn’t know Sidney Poitier acted in it)

I heard on telly last night while watching Criminal Minds ” death ends a life, but not a relationship” ( Mitch Albom)

And I will live the rest of my days with the memory that I was once loved.. very much.

Supply and demand

A friend of mine who is half Mallu and half British told me this story. This happened when he was 17 years old and was doing his pre-degree in a prestigious college in Kerala ( many many moons ago). His mom was working as a missionary and one day the church Pathiri  phoned the mother and asked her to come to the church office immediately. The mother thought it must be something to do with her missionary work and went there and found the Pathiri walking back and forth in front of the church, anxiously waiting for the mother..

“Come with me” Said the Pathiri as soon as the mother reached the church gate.

And together the mother and the Pathiri walked towards the college where her son is studying. They walked and walked and finally they arrived at a place behind the ladies hostel. There was a huge jackfruit tree there and the Pathiri pointed up the tree. There on the tree is my friend, with a binoculars in one hand and  looking at the ladies hostel . and holding  a beedi in his other  hand.

The priest was smiling gleefully, because he caught the boy red handed and is now waiting eagerly for the mother to do the right thing.. Punish the boy.

Mother looked at the pathiri and told him “There is something called supply and demand, the girls must be supplying something that demands my son’s attention” And she went back home.

That evening, she told her son ” if you must smoke, then smoke cigarettes, not beedi, at least the filter might protect you from getting lung cancer in your 30’s”

Every time  my children do something naughty, I always remember this story. Had I been in my friend’s place, my mother would have skinned me alive, because Achante munnil nanam keduthi, nattukaru entho parayum? Ini njan enginaya ellarudeyum mugathu nokkunney? Ahankari, ethinano kashu chilavakki ninney okkey padippikkuney? ( She would have berated me for embarrassing her). Most parents forget that they too were once teenagers and have done a lot of naughty things.



Francis Bacon wrote ” if mountain doesn’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain”

From Jan of this year, Yaya counted the days to her 16th birthday so she could apply for her L license. She went through all the questions and did the practice exams, bugged her classmates who didn’t apply for their license when they turned 16, drove my friend’s car at his station ( ranch), (absolutely  illegal).

Come 16 th birthday, there is no sign of her going for the L license exam. I waited few weeks and asked her “When are you applying for your L”

I have often wondered how many seconds it would take a normal person to turn to a banshee. In her case, it was less than a second and she screamed at me and told me ” Mom, because you bugged me, I am not getting the L now. I will get it when I feel like it”

What I wanted to do was to do a ping pong her face..( I knew a Chinese Malaysian mother who used to slap her child on either side of the face alternating and called the punishment   ping pong your face), But I am the mother here and much as she annoyed me very much, I kept quiet.

Honestly speaking, at that moment I thought, I don’t give a rat’s ass if she gets her license or not and left it as it is.

But the thing is, I don’t know why she didn’t want to get her license, the only thing I can think of is that she is afraid. Perhaps the whole growing up thing is scaring her, perhaps it is the responsibilities that she will have to take up when she sits behind the wheel that is terrifying her. However, right now is the best time to get the L, go for lessons and get the P license. Next year, she will be very busy with her studies and it is much easier to get the license in your home country than in a strange land with strange laws ( there are no 4 way streets in Australia 🙂  )

Yaya is going on a student exchange to Mexico next month and I thought I would apply for a credit card for her. One of the requirements for that is a driver’s license. ( proof of identification). When I spoke to the customer service officer, she told me, without a license, there is no way Yaya can get a credit card. rogi, vaidyan and paalu..

I didn’t tell Yaya that without a license, she isn’t going to get a credit card. Instead, I told Yaya, I would like to apply for a credit card for her and she was very excited and we went to the post office to lodge the proof of identity. Her passport gave 50 points, but she still needed another 50. The lady at the counter asked Yaya ” Have you got a license?” Yaya shook her head.

“Without a license, you can’t lodge the proof of identity” She told Yaya.

Yaya is going for her L exam this weekend 🙂

No clothes to wear

Yaya has no clothes to wear. ( For a fashionista, that is nothing short of a major disaster)

Weekends are my laundry days. I have a sign in the laundry room that says, If you do not put your clothes for wash by Friday night, it will not be washed that weekend.

Older two works on Saturday and then they go to their friend’s place or go for a movie  etc after work and I have to wait for them to get back, so I can do the laundry. It is winter now and the clothes won’t dry in time and I have to use the dryer. I am a pishukki and don’t want to use the dryer unless it is absolutely necessary. All they have to do is to put their laundry basket in the laundry room. My son and baby does that. But not Yaya. She didn’t do it two weeks ago and last week had to resort to wearing leggings instead of jeans. That should have made her put her clothes for wash this Friday? She didn’t. Instead, she went to thrift shop and bought new clothes. This morning I saw Yaya wearing the clothes she bought from the thrift shop and asked

” Are you wearing those clothes without washing them?”

“What is wrong with it?” She asked very sassily

“Nothing wrong with it, but if the person who wore that dress last had some communicable disease, then you might get it, but don’t worry except for TB most of the communicable diseases are curable”

She was out of the dress faster than you could say Jack Robinson.

She wore her younger sister’s clothes to school. But it won’t go on for too long because her sister likes to wear cartoon tees  ( read Pokémon) and shorts and that is something that doesn’t fit in to Yaya’s world of fashion.

Sometimes, it is so much fun to see how your children will try to push the boundaries you have set for them..