The first time I met George as he drove the car from Bangalore to Mysore, he asked me “So, how much money does your mother give you every week as pocket money?” I shook my head and said “none” and he replied “Really? I give my daughters 100 RS a week” and to this day, I haven’t forgotten the envy I felt that day. 100 Rs in 1986 was a lot of money and imagine getting 400 Rs/month.
( side note: I learned later that this is a standard behaviour pattern for most paedophiles, they want to show how good they are to others and want you to consider them as heroes and gain your trust. I also learned later that George knew even before he asked me that amma didn’t give us any pocket money and that he didn’t give his daughters 400Rs a month as pocket money)
Yesterday while having dinner, my son mentioned “my friends think we are very poor Mom”
“How come?” I asked
“Well, last time when we went for the movies D had 100 $ and J & L and 50 each and I only had 10$”
I gave him 10 $. 7.50$ for the ticket, 50 cents for lollies and 2 $ for a burger from Maccas/Hungry Jacks.
I didn’t give money for a drink because I know there is a bubbler in the library, close to the theatre and didn’t want him to consume 7 teaspoon of sugar in a serve of soft drink. All three of my children support the ban of bottled drinking water and carry their own water bottle and he can refill the bottle from the bubbler in the library. ( http://www.canadians.org/water/documents/bottledwater-5reasons.pdf)
“Do you think I was wrong? Did you need more money?”
“No Mom, you gave me enough, I can’t change their opinion and I don’t see how their opinion matters to me”
When George made me feel envious, I also promised myself that I will always give my children pocket money, which is something I don’t do.
If my children need something, it is my job as their mother to provide it. If I haven’t done so, obviously it is something I felt they don’t need. So I feel this thing about saving up their money to buy something they want that I consider they don’t need is pointless.
I do give them 2.50$ every Friday for them to buy a treat from the tuck shop. Yaya and toothless buy sushi or combine their money and buy something else. Baby buys Jumbo cookies and share it with her friends.
I do allow my children to earn money by doing chores. Mowing the lawn, folding the laundry, cooking dinner etc. They usually spend that money buying me and each other Christmas/birthday gifts.
I worry that by not going in the same wagon as all their friends might eventually harm my children..