When I was in the 10th standard, I was still considered deaf, dumb and blind and Amma had already spoken to the owner of Paikadas ( parallel college) and booked a spot for me because she was sure my SSLC marks wouldn’t be enough to get admission to CMS college/BCM.. But I knew, I will be able to get a very good score even though no one believed me. It was also the time when one begins to think about the future. I knew, I didn’t want to study maths, so engineering was out of the question. I really loved to cook and thought I could do home science and then do hotel management. My second option was to join the diplomatic service. K R Narayanan was the Ambassador to US at that time and I felt, if he could, then there is nothing that stops me from joining the diplomatic services.
As usual, my mother did her darndest to discourage me. “You can’t speak a word of English and you want to be an Ambassador?” :Home science is for girls from rich family who only needs a paper qualification to get married, but you are already deaf, dumb and blind, who will marry you? You have to remember I have 4 daughters and you are not the only one” ( in other words, I should be aware that being deaf, dumb and blind, I might require more dowry and with a home science degree, it will increase further.
Medicine was the only option I had.
Years later, I met Peter Varghese at a dinner, when he was the Australian Ambassador to Malaysia and I felt so jealous. He was everything I could have been, if only I was born to some other mother.
Yaya has been going through a tough time the past few months because she has no idea what she wants to do in her life. For the longest time, she wanted to be an artist and live in Venice. Then she wanted to be an interior designer. After her 13th birthday, things began to change. “I want to make a difference in this world” became her motto.
I didn’t know how to help her and even if I suggested anything, she wouldn’t have listened. So I kept quiet.
Sometimes, I am just so grateful living outside India. The support system the kids have here, I would have never been able to provide for my children had I been living in India/Malaysia.
Yaya had her first appointment with the school based career guidance officer. They went through her interests, dislikes etc and prepared a career path for her.
She came home all excited. “Mom, my career guidance teacher thinks, I could be an Ambassador/diplomat, what do you think?”
I wish you could have seen the smile on my face.
We had no such services when we were going to school. Most of the time, only the one who topped was given any attention.
My daughter’s school has counselors, career counselors, office that manages their volunteer work etc..
They are learning all about alcohol abuse, drug abuse, date rapes, relationship conflicts, bullying etc etc in their family life..I think all this is benefits of being a developed country.
Really good for kids to know what they are good at and what all they can be.
MS: Even now, most kids in India follows their parent’s wish. If I was going to pick a career for Yaya, it would have been science based and as you can see in the first photo, she made it very clear that she dislikes science. It would have been such a huge mistake if I had forced Yaya to do science.
I am yet to jump into this bandwagon, as my kid is a toddlerl. But though my husband is a EU national(by naturalisation), i was adamant to retain Indian citizenship for me and kid. Though she has the right to choose her nationality at 16(as per irish law), i have decided to change her to EU national. it will be just letting her go, as with a EU passport she can travel and work and live in any EU countries and dont need visa in most of other countries..my only worry is if she is going to use it or misuse it…,
Swathi: you as a mother has the right to give your child a choice.. ( be it the passport or anything else). But you can’t make that decision as to how your child uses it. It is their choice. My children have various nationalities and also have OCI. Ideally, I would love to have my children near me ( same continent would work too). Yaya is going to US and my son wants to go back to Malaysia. Baby hasn’t decided where she is going to go. But I won’t make that decision for her. It is their life, they are the captain of their ship and they go where the wind blows.
Sarah: That’s exactly why i changed my decision. But a mother is a mother is a mother… 🙂 Being an only child, my dad wanted to marry me off inside trivandrum city and I landed in another continent. So logically i really cant have any thing of that sort.. she is only 2, i might grow up with her .. 🙂
Swathi: Vava is lucky to hold a EU Passport..imagine all the places she can live and work without a visa!