I wanted to raise my children without prejudice and superstitions clouding their mind. I wanted them to write an exam by studying for it, not spend an hour in the morning praying and offering bribes to the unknown for his/her help to pass the exam or get easy questions etc.. all that  my cohorts and I practised, while growing up in India. We have no dramas here during exam time. They study for it, if they didn’t do well, they accept that it was their fault and know not to blame the planets for their misfortune.

When my son was in grade 1, I was at my best friend’s house having dinner, when her oldest son walked in with a gift for his mother. He was in grade 11 then and has been working for a few weeks part time at the mall. With his first pay, he bought a ring for his mother. It had 6 stones, one for each of her 5 children ( their birth stone) and 1 for the baby she carried to the term and gave birth knowing that the baby had severe trisomy 13 and will not survive. 6th stone was a tiny diamond, so it would shine the most. It was such a beautiful ring and my friend and I, we shed many tears..for her to have a son who loved his mother so much and for me, to know such a wonderful family.

Last Christmas. my son gave me a small ring with 4 tiny diamonds in it. He saved his money to buy it for me..He said he didn’t want to buy a ring with their birth stones and a diamond because he felt all three of them and the baby I lost, shines equal in his mother’s eyes..so he opted for diamonds.. ( very very tiny ones..that is all he could afford). He also told me not to lose the ring, for he wants to use the same ring when he finds his girl and want to propose. I told him “but the stones are tiny, won’t you think, the girl would be upset to get such a small diamond ring” and he replied

“mom, if she thinks the ring that means so much to my family is worthless, then she isn’t the one for me”

I grinned happily..

All was well, so  I thought.

2 weeks after I got the ring, I got two speeding tickets. Sure, I am a speed demon. but I was with the kids and we were driving to Melbourne. 99% of the time, I used  cruise control and I do not speed when my kids are in the car. I still don’t know how I got the ticket..that too twice.

Then the tax dept send me a lovely letter telling me that the family tax benefit I thought I was eligible wasn’t so..and I had to pay a substantial amount back !

Then my 2 year old washing machine conked out..4 days after the warranty expired. Somehow, a single socks manged to get caught in the drain and messed up the whole system. It cost more to repair than to buy a new one.

Then the underground water fiasco for the retaining wall started..

A part of me thinks I am stupid to blame a ring..but the last time I bought a diamond, my son was in the hospital for 3 weeks..and the jeweller did tell me that Diamonds don’t suit everyone.

So here I am. A rational part of me knows, it is nothing but bologna..to blame a piece of coal that was under immense pressure for a few million years for my miseries.. the other part of me..don’t know what to tell my son if he asks why aren’t you wearing the ring I bought?

As usual, views expressed are my own and are expressed with the knowledge that when I point a finger, three fingers point back at me.

A classmate of my son got expelled from the Acceleration program few days ago. He is probably one of the brightest boys I have ever met. He was expelled because he never did his homework and the school has ‘three strikes and you are out’ policy. Actually, because he is exceptionally brilliant, the school gave him more than three strikes as we are already in term 2 and he has never once submitted/completed any of his homework.

The first week, his mother said, he is just new in to the program, it is the first week of high school and he is just getting used to it.

Second week, she said, they had a storm ( we all did) and a tree fell down near their home. Not on their house, few houses down the street.

Third week, he had an eye test with drops on Sunday and he couldn’t do his home work. ( Home work is given on Every Tuesday and is due on Monday the following week)

Each week, there was an excuse..

I think it was Amma who told me this story. A mother approached her son’s class teacher and told her “Teacher, I know my son is a bit naughty, but I would appreciate it very much, if you could cane the child sitting next to him and not my son even if he is the one that needs the punishment., that way my son will get scared and doesn’t need to get caned and feel the pain”

I am heart broken not because the boy wouldn’t achieve greatness, or got kicked out of the program, but because the one person who should teach him responsibility actually failed him.

The one thing I hated the most was to see Yaya cry and somehow even as a newborn baby, Yaya knew just how to get my full attention. She cried non stop in the first year and then at least once a day till she was 5. I never knew why she was crying and it was really tough on me because I didn’t know what to do to help my baby. Eventually, I resorted to bribe and I  promised her that I will bake any cake from any of my recipe books if she didn’t cry for a full day and managed to bake it for her after she turned 5.

The past 10 years have been easy for she only cried if she was in physical pain and at least I knew why she was crying.

Yesterday while having dinner, as usual, I asked each of them how was school and what did they learn? Baby talked about her maths exam, my son talked about how much he hates Geography and how much he loves history. ( Which by the way was exactly how I felt when I was in school) and it was Yaya’s turn.

We were having Channa Bhattura and I was happily eating my food and then it occurred to me that Yaya wasn’t saying anything. I looked at her.

That is when I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks..like the flood gates of tears were opened.

In that split second of me opening my mouth to ask her “what is going on?” I imagined all sorts of horrible things that could have happened to my child and I was sure, I failed to protect my child from whatever that happened.

“What happened Yaya?” I asked

It took her few seconds to answer and for me those few seconds perhaps were the longest I ever had to endure.

“I am not learning anything in school” She replied.

For a second, I didn’t get it. I was expecting something horrible.

“huh?” I asked again.

“Mom, what is the point of learning Pythagoras theorem? How is it going to help me in my future? No one in my class cares about their future. They are pretty happy learning all these crap that gives you no benefit. Why don’t they teach us something useful?”

“like what?” I asked

“How to do my taxes, don’t you think that is more important?”

Before I could answer, we progressed to bigger issues.

“Mom, what if I don’t get admission to university? What if my life is  wasted? What if I never achieve what I want to in my life?”