So many truths eh??

Now here is the trouble of the day. My children’s basketball practice is at a high school that is almost 45 minutes drive from my home. Like most schools in Australia, when the department of education constructed the schools, they were under the impression that teleportation was the next big thing to happen and decided to build only a handful of car parks. In the school where my kids go for basketball training, there are 12 car park bays. ( most evenings there are over 40 kids in various divisions playing basket ball). When all the 12 car park bays are full, which you will only learn when you reach the car park,  you then have to do a three point turn to get out!! Oh, Did I mention that this is all happening in the night and it is pitch dark?  The only option I have is to park my car in the streets near the school..and walk to the school in pitch darkness. I could handle that..only if I know how to do parallel parking !!!

The joke among the men in my family were that women didn’t know to drive properly! Any time we were stuck behind a car, it was obvious to all and sundry that the driver of the car in front of us was a woman! And in case it was found later that it was actually a man behind the wheel, then it must have been because there was something wrong with the car..not the driver..for you see, a man can never be a bad driver!
Amma and my aunts all knew to drive, but they chose not to drive, further validating the theory !
Then my sisters and I, along with all other female cousins started to drive..and the men in my family changed the joke to women just can’t reverse park.
None of my sisters or cousins can reverse park. I can. I spend so much time to learn to do that, just to show the men in my family that women aren’t bad drivers..and sadly none of them thought of complaining about parallel parking.. I can’t parallel park..I just don’t know how to do it.

The solution.. go at 5 o clock for the practice that start at 7..
and I have three very unhappy children!

Gold watch

The guy I dated while I was doing my internship came from a very old Mangalorean family. ( old money). He owned a gold pocket watch ( circa 1890, Patek Philip). When his father went to UK to study for medicine, his grand father gave him 4 gold watches, to be sold if he ever was short of cash, as it took time to send money from India to England! His father was determined not to sell the watches and eventually  he gave a watch to each of his sons on their 18th birthday. (The watch is probably worth well over 8000$ right now). It isn’t so much about the money, it is about history and passing on the history to the next generation.

I own nothing from my home. It bothers me a lot that I have nothing to give to my children. No family photographs, no family heirloom, nothing.

I collect little things, so when my children leave home, I can give them something..though it isn’t from my home, it does have some history..
I love old pottery. Amma used to have an extensive collection of bharani  ( ceramic pots) and old Italian glass wares. Even as a child I was fascinated with them.

I visit the thrift shops regularly hoping to find things that I could add to my collection.
I found these in the lifeline thrift shop

Verteria Parmense ( Bormioli Italy), water jug and six glasses.( early 1970’s). mold blown glassware. I paid $ 12..

Bendigo butter dish. Not sure of the age, I Paid $ 12. Bendigo is one of Australia’s oldest pottery manufacturer.

Judge and be judged

Before Yaya was born, my Sunday morning routine involved going to Bangsar for breakfast. The occasion was more like a headcount as to how many of us are still alive after spending the previous two nights drinking and partying. Most of my friends lived around Bangsar and meeting for breakfast was something we never missed. The annai  at the Indian restaurant knew us all by our name and used to make the best carrot juice ! ( hangover cure). We sat outside, sipping the carrot juice while promising each other that we will NEVER drink so much again..( to be repeated again the very next Sunday). One such Sunday, a friend was really in a bad shape and needed some pain killers. So we walked to the nearest Pharmacy to find it closed. We sat outside waiting for the shop to open. Meanwhile, we saw this middle aged Chinese lady driving in a Merc SLK coupe going round and round the street where the pharmacy is. Eventually she parked in front of the pharmacy, rolled down the window and asked the matsalleh (white guy) in our group if he knew what time the pharmacy would open. He didn’t know. So she sat  in her car and we sat on the floor..waiting.
Soon the discussion started as to why is she desperate for the pharmacy to open. We had various theories!! And we were curious. So even though we were waiting at the shop before her, we let her go in first when the shop opened. ( And she thanked the matsalleh) She marched straight to the pharmacist, opened her hand bag ( very expensive brand) and took out a paper cutting.. She was there to collect a free sample satchet of cosmetic on offer when you buy some magazine. The magazine must have come out that saturday and she wanted to be the first at the shop to collect the free sample because “numbers were limitted”
Obviously, the petrol and the mileage to the car cost a lot more than the sample satchet.. ( and not to mention getting up early to be the first customer) and we all joined forces to mock at her!!

Yesterday, Yaya was down with flu and had to stay back home. It isn’t very often I get to spend time with Yaya alone ( she is my first born.. always special), so I took time off from work and picked her up at lunch time to go shopping. ( the word shopping cures her fever faster than panadol). I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she desperately need new books. We had just been to our favourite op shop last saturday and they didn’t have any new books. So we decided to go to the Lifeline op shop ( thrift shop). I parked my car in the car park. There were some people smoking and talking outside the shop. They saw my car..and they snickered, laughed..( exactly how I laughed at the Chinese lady!!)

FB status update !!!

” In a relationship with…”

Such a bold statement, that would pique any one’s curiosity.

It certainly did mine, for you see that update is on my son’s FB account.

The first thought I had when I saw the statement was with a sense of relief..that my son isn’t gay!
You think I am a homophobe?
Not at all.
At present, the LNP is busy trying to see if they can revoke the “same sex civil union
As my son’s mother, I want him to have the same rights as everyone, but in this world of bigots, religious fanatics and bureaucrats he will not have the equal rights, if he is gay.
I find that difficult to accept.
So the relief isn’t so much about my son’s sexual orientation.. It is more to do with the fact that he will not wake up each morning with hatred in his heart against the world that tells him he can’t do something he wants to do, because it is against their religious/cultural/personal feelings! He already fights a lot of battles because of his high IQ..every day is a struggle for him and I didn’t want to add anymore.

I want to reiterate that I will not judge my children if they are gay. I will support them.

Back to the FB update.

I am actually scared…
He is only 12 years old.. I would have loved to not go through all this right now.. How wonderful it would have been if he just concentrated on his studies, went to Uni, finish his studies, get a job, get married..after all there is a time for everything, No?

But life isn’t going to be like a train track with destinations and regular stops..

I worry, have I raised him well? Would he be a jerk? Would he respects her? Would he treat her well?
I worry if he is going to hurt her feelings?
I worry if she is going to hurt his feelings?
I worry if both of them are matured enough to handle the issues when things don’t go well?
I wish I could say that I am happy for my son, now that he got a girl friend.. but all I feel is fear..

( PS..I know this is just a stage, puppy love..etc..but the bigger picture here is..we reached ‘that’ point.. there is no turning back..)

Being a mom

I know I am an unusual mother. At least I think so !! But certainly not a bad mother.
I was obsessed with giving my children a childhood that they will cherish.

In one of the Mallu church in KL, there was a poster on the wall near the vicarage.
“Have you hugged your child today?”
I saw the poster before I had children. And I remembered it when I had children. I remembered to give my children a hug every morning. ( Still do)
I read a million stories ( at one stage 3 stories each night and  I couldn’t even skip a page cause the older ones would notice and tell me very kindly, mom you missed reading a page!).
I taught them to dance in the rain, to toboggan in the snow, took them for walks in the woods in mid winter!!
I did well.. at least I thought I did..

Yaya was busy yesterday finding a ring tone for each of the contacts in her phone. She knew the favourite music band of each of her friends and spend a lot of time to find that special song to use as a ring tone.
She asked her brother and sister what song they would like her to pick for their ring tone.
And I knew soon she will ask me about my favourite song.
I had so many favourite songs. should I pick, Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the dark?, Bryan Adams’s Summer of 69, Freddie’s We will we will rock you??
But she didn’t ask me for my choice. I heard her saying to her brother,  “I know just what to use for mom”
And I was curious, Which song did she pick for me? ( You know that feeling… that your child knows you inside out.. and knows all your favourite songs..and the curiosity as to which of your favourite did she pick…
And I heard laughter..all three of them..
I asked her, what did you pick for me?
She looked at me..smiling like an imp, daring me to find out for myself.
I dialled her number..

I am still laughing thinking of my daughter’s choice of ring tone for her mother..