Mother’s day

Time to reflect how i fare as a mother.
I know I am an awesome mom ( my kids say that). But I also know my flaws.

First in the list is my temper.
I walk holding an AK57 at all times. I shoot first and then think.
Often I end up apologizing to the kids after screaming at them.
I would have loved to be able to think before I act.
I do try
But it never worked..

Then in the list is my need to drive fast.
I never do it when the kids are in the car.
I know if anything happens to me, my kids will suffer and the sensible thing to do is to drive at the posted speed limit. But I just love the thrill of driving fast.

I am pedantic when it comes to cleaning the house. I do have my days when I let things go. But then I get in to this mood and drive everyone nuts, till my house is cleaned and things are kept back to where they belong.

If I like the book I am reading and want to finish it, I ignore the kids completely..including making their dinner. I ask them to make a sandwich or cook noodles.

I hate to play monopoly and try to weasel out with any possible excuse.
I am also extremely competitive and that means I love playng scrabble with the kids!!!

I am sarcastic to the core and it has now come to a point where my son would ask me to respond sans sarcasm!!

I am a procrastinator by birth and often forgets to pay the fees for various activities at the school and end up doing a last minute rush to the school.

I recycle every scrap of paper and often recycle the permission forms kids bring home to get my signature.

I expect an A for all school projects. My logic is that, a project is something you have full control of, enough time to do and if you do it well, you should get an A. Unlike a class test, where a lot of variables are involved. My kids never see the end of it if they did get a B !!

If the kids have to stay back home due to sickness, I force them to lay down on the bed all day and won’t let them watch telly or play games. Sickness equals to full rest. In other words, I bore them to death, so unless they are absolutely sick, they never want to stay back home.

I know I am a horrible mom. there I said it.

Happy mother’s day.

Such is life

Ah! the joy of being a lousy mother.

The most basic thing a parent must provide a child is a good education. And that according to my family and friends means Private school education.

Yaya did go to a private school when we were living in KL.
The reason she was send to the private school was considering the choices sending her to a Chinese school, Govt school or the private school, I felt the private school was a better option. I thought she would get more attention compared to the govt school and less home work compared to the Chinese school. The fees was affordable.

In Canada, kids attended an inner city school. I used to send an extra sandwich with Yaya for one of her classmate who never brought lunch !
Eventually the school started a lunch program ( 100% subsidized)

I always believed that schools don’t influence the career outcome of an individual.
Bernard Shaw once said If it did, I never would have reached where I am now. I attended a very normal school. I studied in malayalam medium. didn’t know a word of English till I was 14.I was classified as a good for nothing idiot by most of my class teachers. My mother had to literally beg the teachers to give me grace marks, so I won’t be held back..and I became a doctor. I did my master’s degree in England. I scored 8.5 for the IELTS ( did you hear the trumpets being blown??)

So happily I send my children to normal schools.
This morning during a routine staff meeting one of the GP’s very casually asked me which school my kids go to. And there was this pin drop silence the moment I said the name of the school.
Everyone stared at me as though I just landed here from Mars.
The first question I was asked was
“Why in the world do I send my kids to public school?”
Then I was given the merits of sending children to private school. Basically my children now has far less chance to go to university because their mother didn’t love them enough to send them to a proper school. Apparently even the practice manager sends her children to a private school !!
I thought of telling them that my children will be whatever they want to be in their life, because their mother taught them to believe in themselves.
The truth is that, I am responsible for the choices I made..
Did I screw up?
Time will tell..