How fast two weeks went by and I missed updating my blog. Two sets of friends and family have come and gone and two more will arrive this weekend.
When I visited my mother the last time I went to India. She asked me ” Do your children still fight with each other?”
I was really puzzled by that question because I didn’t think my children fought with each other. Of course they have their squabbles, but I was very sure that they do not fight like my sisters and I did for my mother to ask me that kind of question. But then again, most of the first five years of my children’s life were a blur to me and I thought perhaps I am living in denial..
Last week, Yaya gave her external hard drive to her youngest sister, so she could watch teen wolf episodes. But then something went wrong while baby was using the hard drive and it stopped working. In it were all of Yaya’s school work and music collection. Most importantly, her 2000 words extended essay draft that is part of her IB curriculum which she needed to submit before the end of the week.
I am not sure why she didn’t print a copy of her essay draft, or even sent it by email to someone ( at least to herself..which I told her to do so many times to do)
Baby was distraught.
But what surprised me the most was how Yaya handled it. She came to me and told me “Mom, I lost everything on that hard drive”. I hugged her and offered to make her a cup of tea. ( like Sheldon Cooper, which always make my children smile). We had tea and cookies and she went back to her room to rewrite her essay..Not a single harsh word was said to her youngest sister..She understood that things like this happen and no one was at fault.
I could have made it worst for her by telling her off for not having saved her work. ( technically she did, she saved it on her external hard drive and assumed it would be fine) I could have told her of for not letting her brother copy her music collection, which if she did, she wouldn’t have lost her entire music collection..all those hours and money spent copying the music..
But I remembered each time I made a mistake, how my mother made it worst for me by going over and over about how I could have avoided the disaster.. as if I wanted something bad to happen to me.
I read somewhere ” your past doesn’t have to dictate your present. It is not your past that defines you, it your reaction and current actions that define you the most”
So, yes, I had a miserable childhood, but it doesn’t mean that my children have to suffer..and no, I wasn’t living in denial,my children don’t fight with each other..they were not raised to hate each other.