He was away sailing the last one week and in an attempt to get my life back on track instead of checking my phone every nano second for a message from him(knowing very well that he really can’t send me messages when he is sailing), I went to Melbourne for a few days. I really needed to do something to bring my life to some sort of normalcy. A long drive is what usually gets me going. But I think this time I really didn’t think my plans through.

First was the flight. I missed his shoulder. I can normally finish reading a book in half a day. A friend had gifted me three bags full of books and one book in the collection  that caught my attention was Shamini Flint’s Inspector Singh Investigates: A calamitous Chinese killing. The book was interesting and it is now 4 days since I started reading it. Every time I try to read it, I think of him. If I couldn’t sleep in the flight, then the next best thing to do is to read and even that didn’t work. So it was a really miserable 1 hour 50 minutes flight.

As I got off the flight and walked to the baggage claim area, I walked in front of the restaurant..sixpence pie shop. We had talked about how the shop would have got the name. (Sing a song of sixpence nursery rhyme, I prefer the HenryV111, Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn Version and he prefers the Pirates coded message version). I noticed someone else was sitting on the chairs where we saw down ..Suddenly it felt like something was caught in my throat and I needed to take a deep breath.

Just as you come down the escalator, there is a window by the side and that is where he used to wait for me. I would find him sitting there as soon as I get on the escalator, reading his book and looking up every now and then to see if I was on the escalator.. and the way his eyes light up when he sees me..

Every nook and cranny I looked for him..and missed him.

I went to Melbourne hoping my aching heart would find a way to heal and I came back home even more traumatised than before.

I guess this is love..


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