This post is more for me as I am trying to figure out what exactly I want.

If I had ever written a matrimonial ad (which I really should have, but in my 20’s I hardly knew what I wanted) In a couple of weeks I will be 45 and at this time of my life this is what I would have written.

Wanted, a man for Sarah.

First a bit about Sarah. I am strong willed, stubborn and sarcastic to the core. I am a voracious reader and in the last year alone I read 232 books  and that is not including the romance books. I have near perfect eidetic memory which means I will always remember every single thing. I like to travel and not like the once a year trip to homeland. I have really itchy feet and would go on a trip whenever(and wherever) I feel like. I like good food and spend a great deal of time and money in pursuit of culinary delights. My children are my world. I have absolutely no contact with my parents or  sisters and that will never change. I am a perfectionist and a creature of habit and hate changes to the way I have organized my life.

You should be intelligent. There is no way, I can live with a guy who is not highly intelligent. You should be well read. (The last time I told a guy that I am a voracious reader, he claimed he too is a voracious reader. Unfortunately our definition of voraciousness didn’t match. He considered himself to be a voracious reader because he reads one book a year). You should be sarcastic,  be able to get sarcasm and can say ‘snap’ when it is dished out in liberal doses. I can happily say ‘snap’ every time I receive sarcasm in liberal doses, because for me sarcasm has no malicious undertone. For me sarcasm is simply good wit that can cut through humbug. You should be stubborn and can argue your points sensibly and win. I really don’t mind losing an argument, I, however hate people trying to argue with ridiculous points that has absolutely no merit. You should know history and must love it.I love history and I am still learning. Right now I am reading about Cambodian history and if I find something really interesting, I need you to be kind of guy who I can discuss those things, so if you don’t know the capital of Cambodia or the name of the largest fresh water lake in S E Asia, we are wasting each other’s time. You should be good looking (as in own a pair of beautiful eyes) not fat, certainly no potbelly and must dress well. If I as a mother of three kids can still keep my figure, I don’t see the reason why I should live with someone who doesn’t care about his body. I certainly will not put up with someone who thinks wearing white socks with trousers is fashion!  You should love good food and not necessarily eat only certain types of cuisine. I cook whatever takes my fancy, which simply means you might get Mexican breakfast, Spanish lunch and Mongolian dinner in a single day. You should love travelling, be at ease in business class or in a tent. Most importantly you should have enough money (preferably born in to money), love spending your money and living a good life.I do not live for anyone nor do care to show anyone how successful I am with the usual trappings of success. I will however spend a great deal of money on things that make me happy such as the best mattress money can buy and the most expensive bed sheet.

Why this guy? He has really beautiful eyes, good looking and fit. He is exceptionally intelligent, reads more than me. He knows history better than me, knows the capital, flag, political party and leader of every single country on earth. He can argue passionately why Franco was not good for Spain ( while his father who was arrested during Franco’s time and I are pro Franco) and can graciously agree to disagree with both of us. He listened to my points and have agreed with me that prochoice is not always the right decision. He has very similar OCD like mine and it is a relief not having to force my values on him. He likes to travel and has been to more places (including Costa Rica, Cuba and Madagascar, three countries in my to do  list) than me. He laughs with me for my quirks. (not at me). I wash apples before peeling them, but not bananas. I don’t have any logical explanation to why I do things the way I do and he finds my quirks hilarious. He loves going for long walks. He is sarcastic to the core and always said that I am the only one who could get his sarcasm( I felt exactly the same with him). He is very caring and knows every little things about me. But more than anything else, we seem to have a connection that simply can’t be explained.. We are so different, yet we have so much in common.

In 2020, I will be 49 and my youngest would have left home. I want to retire by my 50th birthday and there are things I want to do after I retire. I want to live in S. America for a couple of years, learn Spanish and read some of the great books that are written in Spanish. I want to sail around the world for a year. After that I want to buy a house by the beach (not sure where) and then spend the rest of my life doing the things that make me really happy. Go for walks in the beach, watch the sunset, read all the books I want to and write. As such I could do all of these on my own, but it would be nicer if I did all these with that one person who can make my heart sing for joy by merely calling my name.

7 thoughts on “Hmm

  1. Dear Sarah,
    Your confidence in yourself is beautiful!
    Isn’t it amazing to find the person who you can share a connection with?!
    I know the past couple of weeks have been torturous….and I hope that writing down your thoughts and plans in where you see yourself in the next 4-6 years soothes your hurt. I feel, when you know exactly where your goals lie ,everything seems clearer and things are much easier to handle.
    What do you think?

  2. Your matrimonial ad if you actually went through this reminds me of that Bangalore’s girl’s matrimonial that she revised after finding out her parents made an ad for her. It’s very smart because you’re right on point in what you want. Not many people do that and make their descriptions vague, making it hard to judge what kind of person they are.

    I really hope you keep in touch with the guy you had to depart with. Even though you’re far apart, I feel at least calling/skyping until you reunite will be definitely helpful. For some reason I am sensing you both are soulmates, so I hope you don’t lose contact.

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