That was a comment my cousin made few weeks ago and after reading the post today you will know why that particular comment meant a lot to me.
My cousin was the person who annoyed me the most by constantly reminding me of the importance of family and forgiveness. How I should remember the sacrifices made by my mother and be grateful. She always made me feel like a horrible, ungrateful wretch.
When she was here few weeks ago, my kids were in the kitchen cooking. Each of them sharing the cooking duties and when it was time to drain the pasta, my son took over the job, because he didn’t want his sisters to get burned while draining the pasta. Yaya hates bacon In her pasta, but cooked it because her brother loves bacon in his pasta. Baby hates Mushroom, so Yaya made Alfredo sauce, but sautéed mushroom for herself and me and added that to our pasta at the end. They were talking to each other, teasing and laughing while cooking. My cousin watched the whole thing and then told me
“You did well, by walking away from your family”
There has never been a day where my sisters and I talked to each other without fighting, without sarcastic comments/retorts, without selfish thoughts and acts. I have no memories of happy times with my siblings. ( Two of them didn’t even attend my wedding..)
I could attribute my children’s love and respect for each other as a luck of the draw. But I think it is because my kids have never seen conflict within the family and that has saved their relationship with each other.
There is an old Sicilian proverb, if the tree doesn’t bear fruit, cut it off at the base. ( Similar to the one in the Bible) and that is just what I did. If my family can’t get along, there was no point exposing my children to all those traumas..and the best thing to do is to walk away. I am happy I did it. I saved my children from my family.