Today, the question you need to ask yourself is this.
“If my child is in any kind of trouble, who is the first person my child will approach for help?”
If the answer is not you or that you are not sure, then you are doing something wrong.
The first person my children will go to if they are in any kind of trouble is me. They know that I will always be there and they know that I will not judge them.
I have not had the same relationship with my mother, like my children have with me. My mother will be last person on earth I would go to for help. She is condescending, take the high road all the time and has a knack of making me feel terribly guilty. When you are in trouble, you are already miserable, you don’t need your mother to make it worst for you.
Now, imagine a 17 year old girl, worried that she is pregnant and has no one to talk to. Her world is falling apart, time is running out and she really doesn’t know who to ask for help. She considered running away from home. I am glad, I was there for her.. Does your child have someone like me to lean on? Where would they find the support?
You as a parent has the responsibility to talk to your child about contraception. You can live in your perfect world and assume that your child is not going to have sex till she gets married or take action and protect them from unwanted pregnancies and STD’s. All it requires is a trip to the clinic. I prefer the combination of Mirena ( hormone releasing IUD http://www.fpnsw.org.au/751201_8.html) and Condom as the ideal contraceptive for teens.
Talk to your children.
You opened a Pandora’s Box and the whole world jumped into your SEX. When you reached Part 4 nobody was there to make a comment, not even a single soul, everybody was exhausted and probably exasperated. I saw your first part and could not read further till today, as was busy with my magazine.
In the earlier time there was no restriction on sex, can have with anybody, man with mother sister etc. and girl with father brother or any body without having any taboo of the so called blood relations. This resulted into confusion in relationships (child of son in mother or child of brother in sister etc.) and sexual rivalry (father fighting with son to possess wife and or daughter and so). As such there evolved a system of restrictions. There was nothing wrong in that earlier system of having sex with anybody but the restrictions were man-made. That was for the survival of the society.
Further relaxations, amendments or restrictions came up in due course which were purely according to the convenience of the society especially man, as the society was and is male-oriented and male dominated. Thus appreciated the virginity of girls and not the boys.
No animal teaches their offspring how to have sex. Nor offspring ask their parents how. They automatically learn and that is a natural instinct. The scenario changed as humans consider sex more a ‘pleasure’ than a biological need. In strict sense that ‘pleasure’ can be considered as ‘biological need’.
Animals don’t complain about being pregnant where as humans fear. That is the problem. If they don’t bother about pregnancy, abortion or rearing there will not be any problem at all.
These restrictions are for the society. It is a mask. You said the age of consent in Australia is 16. In Sweden it may be 15 or 18. So what is the sense in fixing it? But you follow it as it was made by a law for the society? What is the sanctity in the age 16 or 18? Sex can be done much before that.
So all man-made laws which can be breached secretly to each one’s convenience and enjoyment, no generalization. Parents need not teach children, they learn automatically.
Bipin: Few things
1. Comments. I do not write this blog to receive comments.. if someone leaves a comment or not is irrelevant to me. What I want people to do is to think.. I want them to ask themselves the questions I post..
2. I didn’t open the Pandora’s box.. Sex is integral part of human life..there is no box where you can hide it.
3. Writing about sex is not about teaching your children how to have sex.. it is about protecting them from the adverse effect of sex.. which are STDs and pregnancy
4. Age of consent.. In Malaysia, you don’t have to strap your children in a car seat, you don’t even have to worry about how many people you can take in your car vs the number of seat belts..However, here in Aus, there are strict laws and as a law abiding citizen, I follow that law or I will face the legal consequences.. It is the same with age of consent. The law here clearly state age of consent is 16, it doesn’t matter what it is in other countries..you will face the legal consequences if you don’t follow the law.
5. Parents need to teach their children..the importance of following the law and safe sex.