Ideally this should have been the first post, but I didn’t get around to doing it the right order.
Today we will talk about private body parts.
My sisters and I were taught that out private body parts were called “ichichi”, a colloquial term for something dirty. Chunjimani was the name for boy’s private parts. It was very clear from the tone my mother used that these two items were really dirty and we should never have anything to do with it.
I thought I had cancer when I attained menarche and to think that I grew up in a family of women and have an older sister and that no one bothered to tell me about periods.
Recently I read a blog post about a child asking his mother girls use diapers like baby, why?and the mother replied, I will tell you later.
The thing is, periods is a biological function, why should you be ashamed of something that every women on earth goes through for the most part of their life? we live in the 21st century, isn’t it time we accepted that periods are something normal instead of as something unclean and should be hidden from everyone? Why shouldn’t you explain to your child, women get periods every month. It is nature’s way of getting the womb ready to have the baby.( and yes, it might lead to more questions as kids are naturally curious and I am sure you as an adult can explain to them simple facts of life)
It is very important that children learn the correct name for their body parts. Girls have vulva and vagina and boys have penis and testicles. It is not something dirty. If you start talking to them openly from the time they are little, one, your children learn to trust you, two, you can talk to them about sex openly, three you protect them from getting them sexually abused. (http://www.theadvocacycenter.org/adv_abuseprevent.html)
I have taught the correct name of the body parts to my children from the time they were little. I taught them what is really private ( that other’s shouldn’t be touching) by telling them that the area that is covered by their bathing suit is really private.
It is also very important that children know what is the right touch. Trust me, there are way too many touchy feely uncles on the family front who are waiting to cop a feel. The only person who can protect your child from getting abused is you. And when you can’t have your eyes on your children 24/7, you need to empower them. You do that by being honest with your kids. teach them about their body. Teach them the right words.(http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/the-serious-education-of-teaching-kids-correct-names-for-genitals/article23313079/)
Hi Sarah,
I am reader of your blog, and this post prompted me to comment as this is definitely an important topic for today’s parents. For parents of our generation who grew up in a conservative environment it is not easy to adapt to today’s or the western stance on sex. Even though you see it all around you it only really hits you when your children get to that age.
I like to consider myself as modern in thoughts parent. We talk to our kids very openly and hence our kids share many things with us. This sometimes just scares me knowing what the kids in college are doing. If one thinks high school is bad, I don’t know what to say about college. So sometimes ignorance is bliss 🙂
So this is what I told my kids about sex: Yes sex is hormonal, and unfortunately it kicks in at an early age. Just about 50 years ago pretty much all over the world people got married and had kids when they were teenagers. But they were considered as adults at that age. Life expectancy was low and everything started and ended early. Today teenagers cannot sustain themselves or a family independently. Sex comes with physical and emotional responsibility so you have to be ready to handle both. So better to wait until you can handle adult responsibilities. I cannot endorse kids wanting adult privileges but not taking the responsibilities.
These are my thoughts – not necessarily right or wrong or fully accepted by my kids. Since we talk about it we know where we stand on it. And I trust their judgement as they are super nice kids.
SS: My grandmother was 12 when she got married and her first memory of her husband was him drying her hair like her mother used to do for her after her shower. If you think teens of the past were more matured and could be considered adults, you are mistaken.
You talked about sex as an adult privilege. I disagree. Sex is your privilege the day you attain age of consent. It is the responsibility of the adult ( ie the parent ) to provide the advice and support to their children about contraception.
Look, kids are going to do a lot of things that will shock you. Sometimes when I am at Uni in the early hours or late at night to do my work, I can see kids copulating practically in the public.. I have seen girls doing the typical morning walk dishevelled..I was invited to a bong party last weekend ( my classmates are half my age).. All of these are not something exclusive to schools or college/uni.. It is exclusive to growing up..So there is no question about high school is bad and college is worst..it is just another stage of growing up, finding your limit..enjoying your youth..