Few years ago, a friend gifted me a book by D. Conley titled The pecking order: which siblings succeed and why. I love to receive any gifts except books. There are certain genre of books I don’t like to read and when I am given a book as a gift, I feel terribly guilty if I don’t read it. So I forced myself to read this book. I would recommend the book if you have more than one child and want to avoid sibling rivalry.
I am the second child in my family and I know for a fact that it is my pecking order that made me who I am. Basically I could see the mistakes my oldest sister made and knew not to do it or do it without getting caught. ( I did the latter more than the former). I got away with murder and my sister was not so lucky !
I had written about my nephew’s visit to Australia recently. Yesterday when I spoke to his mother, she mentioned that her youngest son has told her ” Mom, I too would like to travel on my own, why don’t I visit my grandfather and spend some time with him” His mother was so pleased ! And she was looking for flight ticket for the youngest.
What the mother didn’t see was how clever the youngest son is and how well he manipulated her.
First, he acted all matured ( he is 13),
Secondly, he used the mother’s guilt to his advantage..you paid for my brother’s trip, now it is my turn to benefit from your generosity ( fairness)
Thirdly, he chose the destination well, visiting his grandfather ( mother’s father)
What the mother didn’t see was the anger the older child felt. He was never given an opportunity to travel anywhere when he was 13 and yet his younger brother was getting the things he didn’t. The trip to Australia was his moment of glory and his younger brother was taking it away from him.
I asked the mother, if she thinks she is being fair to both the children?