After my exams were over, my friends organized a party to celebrate. All of us are in our 40’s and have children of similar age. One of the mothers whose daughter ( same age as Yaya) is currently travelling in South America spoke about how one day before the school closed she felt She lost her daughter. She said, that day was like any other day, but she could sense the difference in her child. It was like her daughter suddenly evolved in to a new person. I didn’t understand that. How can your child change just like that?

Friday was the last day of school. Yaya wanted to spend time with her friends and asked if she could sleep over at one her friend’s place. I said fine. Saturday she works and usually come home after work. She send me a txt to let me know that she is going for a movie with her friends and could I pick her up after that?

I felt  like a drowning person trying to grab whatever I could get. So much as I hate to shop and that Yaya doesn’t need any more new clothes (she bought enough from US), I asked her on Sunday morning if she would like to go for shopping?  I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter. We went to the mall and decided to have breakfast first. The usual Macca’s breakfast didn’t interest her. ( There was a time, we used to get up early and catch the train to Vancouver and then the seabus to Lonsdale Quay to eat McDonald’s breakfast.. there were plenty of Macca’s near where we lived, but the train and sea bus was much more fun 🙂 )

Yaya asked me what I want for breakfast and told me to find a place to sit. she went to the coffee shop and ordered for both of us. ( It was always the other way round). While we had out breakfast,she talked about her travel plans. She is going to Mexico in September and after grade 12, she is planning to take 6 months off and travel around Europe. I told her about wanting to take all of three of them for a camping trip this school holidays and she told me ” Mom, I don’t want to go camping any more. It is so boring”

And I knew that instant, my child is gone..Replaced by an independent confident young woman..the outcome I hoped to achieve when I had her. Somehow I feel empty.


10 thoughts on “Gone

  1. I was wondering wether you’ve started believing in God? or are you still just christian by faith and nothing else?

  2. Letting go is so hard! You just want to put them in a bubble and protect them and not let anyone or anything hurt them but have to do it for their sake. Just trust you brought them up well. So easy to say but so hard to do!!!

    • Goutham: I always thought I will never be a clingy mother and will let my children fly away..and now I can tell you, letting go it is the hardest thing to do

  3. These worrying mothers! Yesterday morning my cousin, telephoned me to tell that her daughter, left for US to join her husband, both doctors, didn’t make a call from Doha, the stopover, as promised before leaving Trivandrum, even after the scheduled time of departure to Chicago and much worried what happened to her. Her husband ignored her saying that she is going for the second time and she is one among thousands travelling and will reach safely. So I had to pacify her. Had she missed the flight she would have definitely contacted by this time, she might not have got time and that she will be in the flight now, I told her. She was not much convinced and continued worrying. She was restless and telephoned me two or three more times. She waited sleepless till 2 in the night when the call came from her daughter, waiting in Chicago airport to catch the flight to Cleveland, saying she didn’t get time at Doha to make a call.

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