“Amma, did chechy really buy an Apartment?”
I didn’t think so, but I just wanted to know
“hmm” Amma mumbled.
‘hmm?’ “Is that an Yes or No?” I asked again
“oh ninneyum kondu thottu. ( am getting tired of you), Yes she bought an Apartment”
“What? When? Amma, why didn’t you tell me that Chechy bought an Apartment?”
Oh ninnodu paranjittu ippol enna nedana? (what do I gain by telling you?)” Amma spoke nonchalantly.
I wasn’t sure how to answer her. After all these years of her divide and rule philosophy what answer could I give to justify what she would gain by telling me that my own older sister has bought an apartment?
I was still so upset with Amma.
“You could have told me ma. She is my sister” I replied
bha! Sister. How do you even dare to call her sister? When was the last time you treated her like a sister? You only want her when you need something. Then you are full of panajra and paal ! (milk and honey).”
“What do you mean Amma? When did I act panjara and paal?”
lWhen you wanted sarees, you were nice to her. Remember?”
“What sarees?”
“Forgot already ah? Remember you needed sarees when you joined the medical college? Remember she bought all the sarees for you? You never remember think what everyone do for you Nina. You are such an ungrateful wretch”
“I didn’t ask Chechy to buy sarees for me”
“Oh Really? So what were you planning to wear when you go for your classes? Bra and panties? nee enna Pamela Anderson ano? (you think you are Pamela Anderson?)”
I didn’t reply.
When my mother acts obnoxiously rude, it is better to shut up.

I went and lay down on my bed.
I still couldn’t grapple the fact that Amma didn’t tell me.
Why? I wondered
Would it be because she thought I would be jealous?
Why would I be jealous if my sister bought an apartment? She is my sister for heaven’s sake. Why would I be jealous of her?
Why? Why didn’t Amma tell me?
Why was it such a big secret?
What would have happened if I had known?
Did she think that I would tell Appa? Why would Appa mind if his daughter bought an Apartment?

I thought of Amma’s coometn about Chehcy buying me new sarees.
I remembered the day Chechy came home from Mysore with few cotton sarees and told me they were for me. I knew she would have picked it up in Mysore because most of the shop owners there gave George a substantial discount.
I didn’t remember thanking my sister.
I do remember fighting with her saying I didn’t like any of the sarees. I didn’t want to wear a saree that was bought with George’s influence. I didn’t want anything to do with George. But I didn’t have any other sarees or salwars.
It did bother me the first few times I wore those sarees. But then I consoled myself by thinking that George didn’t make those saress and Amma certainly would have paid for those sarees.
Was I such a shameless creature? I was sure I was.
I felt so miserable thinking how low I have sunk.

But there was something else that was bothering me.
Chechy bought those sarees for me using George’s influence.
What payment did George expect/take from my sister, so she could buy me those sarees?

I felt so numb.

Then the numbness slowly turned to anger.
If there was one honest person in my family, then none of these would have happened.
Each and every one in my family had that choice to do the right thing.
Yet we simply kept on failing each other.
and I never bothered to think each time I wore those cotton sarees.
No honour among thieves. None at all.

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