I heard the sound of an Auto stopping in front of our house and I rushed to the balcony to see if it was Liza.
I watched Anitha getting out of the Auto and looking around. Then she looked up and saw me.
“Hi Nina” She greeted
“Hi, come on in” I pointed to the side gate.
Before opening the main door, I ran to Amma’s room
“Amma, Anitha is here” I spoke
“Athinu njan enna venam? ( Why do I care?)” She answered.
I didn’t have time to argue with Amma because Anitha was already at the door.
I opened the door and smiled at her.
“Come in”
Anitha walked in and looked around the living room. I wondered what she would be thinking when she notices our mismatched furniture.
Mattress bed on one side, folding chairs on the other side and another folding table as a dining table across the room.
There was also a side table. my mother’s creation!
Made out of a steel pan Amma insisted that Appa bring from Dubai( the only place where you can find such a large steel pan, which is the most essential pan in any Malayalee family because to make puttu, you need a large flat pan).
But Amma never used that pan to make puttu.
Instead she creatively converted it in to a corner table by custom ordering a metal rack to hold the pan.
She also wanted ‘four people’ to know our Gulf connection, so she kept a plastic vase full of fake ‘Gulf’ flowers! on the corner table.
Underneath the vase she had kept a doily she had crocheted, so ‘four people’ will know that she knew how to crochet!
Gosh what must Anitha be thinking?
“You have a nice house Nina” Anitha spoke
‘Yeah right’ I thought “Thanks” I offered my gratitude
“have a seat” I pointed to the folding chair and I went and sat down on the mattress bed. (I didn’t want Anitha to sit on the mattress bed. Sitting on top of four layers of foam mattress is an acquired skill)
“So where is everyone?” Anitha asked
I looked at Amma’s door hoping she would understand that I still have to go back to my college and face all my classmates on Monday.
I guess she didn’t understand that.
“My mom isn’t feeling well, so she is resting in her room. My sister had gone out to her friends place” ‘with Arjun’ Sensible one spoke.
I ignored her.
“What would you like to drink?”
“Oh nothing, I just had a milk shake”
“Come on Anitha. Coffee or tea? What would you like to have?” I got up to go to the kitchen.
“hmm, May be I will have coffee”
“Give me a few sec” I went to the kitchen and measured a cup of water to make coffee.
“Nina, do you have any albums that I can look while waiting?”
“Sure”
I went to Amma’s room. Amma saw me and closed her eyes quickly.
‘I hate you so much you dumb mother. I wish you would just die and get out of our life’ I cussed in my head.
I took the albums out. Then I remembered most of the photos have headless people in them. ( My oldest sister’s handiwork)
“I am sorry Anitha, all the albums are still in our house in Kerala. We didn’t bring most of our stuff to Bangalore”
“You have a house in Kerala?”
“Yeah”
“Where?”
“Chengannur”
“Oh really! Who lives there?”
“My grandmother”
“She stays alone?”
“hmm” I mumbled.
I didn’t want to think about it. But I couldn’t shake the image of my grandmother sitting on the parapet and looking at the bus stop and waiting.
‘I am sorry Ammachi’ I whispered, hoping she would understand.
I heard someone running up the steps and I knew it was Liza.
I was so angry with her, yet I was relieved.
“Hello Anitha Chechy, how are you? Long time no see”
“I am fine Liza”
“So tell me how is everyone, How are your parents? How is your brother?”
Liza was taking to Anitha as though they have known each other all their life and I, who is her classmate didn’t even know she had a brother.
“Nina, Where is Amma?” She asked me when I came out with the coffee for Anitha
“In the room. She isn’t well”
“She isn’t well? Bull shit! let me get her”
“Mariammo, Come get up. Anitha Chechy is here.” I watched Liza going in to Amma’s room and a few seconds later Amma and Liza came out.
“Sorry Anitha moley, I had been having a splitting head ache since I woke up this morning, but only now I managed to get some time to lay down. You know, you look at them, see how big they are. They still expect me to do everything for them”
” She” Amma pointed to me. “brings her dirty clothes from the hostel and won’t even put it in the washing machine. I have to do it for her”
Anitha looked at me as though I was the laziest person on earth. How was I to tell her that Amma won’t let me touch her washing machine because she thinks that I will ruin it.
“Did you make any coffee for me?” Amma asked
“No, you didn’t tell me you wanted coffee”
“You see, I must tell her that I need a cup of coffee. isn’t she supposed to know that? Do I still have to spoon feed her?”
Anitha shook her head sadly. How terrible!
I got up and walked to the kitchen.
I thought of adding a table spoon of salt instead of sugar in Amma’s coffee. But knowing my mother, I knew she would create another drama if I did that.
I made coffee for her and gave it to her. I watched her blowing the the coffee and taking a sip. I waited for her to criticise how bad my coffee was. Amma looked at me. Perhaps she noticed the fire in my eyes. She didn’t say anything.
“Where is Sally?” Anitha asked
“oh, she stays in the boarding school. You see, I have been staying away from my husband for so long because I didn’t want to send my children to boarding school when they were young. You know, it is very important children stay with their parents when they are little. But now that my children are older, I want to stay with my husband.
Nina can stay at the medical college and she can visit us in Dubai when she has holidays. Liza can stay in paying guest accommodation and I thought it was better that Sally stay in the boarding school now itself so she can get used to it”
I looked at my mother disbelievingly.
She wants to stay with Appa? When did that happen? I thought he was the worst husband on planet earth.
“So when are you going to Dubai Aunty?”
“I haven’t decided. I think I will go after Christmas”
Liza looked at me to see if I knew what Amma was talking about. I rolled my eyes.
“Where does your oldest sister stay?” Anitha asked
I didn’t know what to say.
“Oh She bought her own Apartment” Amma answered
“Wow, Where?” Anitha asked
“Rajaji Nagar” Amma answered “It is a beautiful Apartment, three huge bed rooms! I am thinking of asking my husband to buy three more apartment in the same building, so all of them can stay together and we, the old man and the old woman will stay with each of them for three months”
I didn’t even know my sister bought an apartment. How come Amma didn’t tell me that? Why am I the last one to know everything?
Anitha looked at the clock and then at me
“Nina, does Arjun stay nearby?” She asked so innocently
Finally! I knew Anitha wanted to come and see my place because she wanted my mother to know that I was going out with Arjun. At least 30 of classmate guys were from Bangalore and she only wanted to know where Arjun stays!
Before I could answer, Amma spoke. “He stays in Jayanagar. Very far from here. He was here this morning”
“oh” Anitha didn’t know what else to say.
Wasted your trip eh? I thought of asking her.
“I have to go now Aunty or I don’t want to go back to the hostel late” Anitha spoke
“Now you know where we stay, so anytime you feel home sick, come and visit us Ok” Amma spoke
I stared at Amma. But she ignored me
“Convey my regards to your parents, ok?” Amma spoke
“Sure Aunty, bye Aunty”
“Bye moley”
“Bye Nina”
“Bye” I mumbled
“Anitha chechy, I will walk with you to the Auto stand” Liza spoke.
“Oh no need Liza”
“It is ok Anitha chechy, Come, let us go” Liza held Anitha’s hand and I watched them walking down the steps.

Everything around me was going in one direction, but I simply stuck out,like a sore thumb. I didn’t belong anywhere.
I didn’t belong in the medical college.
I didn’t belong in my own family.
I didn’t belong anywhere.
I was the lost ship in the ocean.