Evolving

It is the first time my youngest has stayed away from me for more than a week. (She is on a student exchange in Spain at the moment).

We talk often on FB and if I don’t reply to her quickly, she will text me and ask if I am not getting her messages?

I gave her a bank card that she could use in Spain. Every single purchase she makes, she would ask if it was ok? is she spending too much money? (As opposed to Yaya, who sent me one email on the day she arrived in Spain and then another one when she ran out of money and wanted me to send her more!). She even bought gifts for my elderly neighbors. (Which made me feel sad.. rightfully my mother should be enjoying my children’s love and generosity)

But more than anything I was really surprised when my youngest asked my advice about coping..

Apparently some of her friends had organized a trekking trip and she didn’t go because she had cramps and was too lazy to walk. It turned out that the people who went for the trekking had a really awesome time and the view from the top was breathtaking. This has resulted in my youngest feeling miserable.. regretting her decision not to go. She asked me, how do I deal with this mom?

So I told her, we make decisions based on certain facts and sometimes we realize we made the wrong choice. Life is all about learning from mistakes.. You can’t undo the decision and have to live with that little regret that will nag your conscience forever. But you can make sure that you won’t make the same mistake again. Then I told her, trust me when I tell you this, I have screwed up more times than you think one person could do. and I have learned to accept that I screwed up and hopefully will not repeat it..

She sounded relieved afterwards.

 

6 thoughts on “Evolving

    • MS: I don’t want my children to think that I am infallible.. I want them to see me as a human.. who makes mistakes after mistakes and learn from those mistakes..

        • MS: I used to struggle with that contradiction.. I could see my mother’s failings, but she never admitted it and it was like she could never do anything wrong even though what she was doing was wrong.. so I try not to do that to my kids. They know I screw up…

  1. Spot on:

    Mistakes are part of life, and I think people benefit better when they learn from the mistakes they made in life. I know having my own share of trial and errors made me see things and become more considerate of certain things, and instead of looking at myself as a failure, or shameful in that sense, I learned that it had built my character and made me stronger than before.

    It’s funny though that many of us Indians stuck in a time warp don’t/wlll not accept failure as a result it’s looked down upon and can harm a family’s reputation/image..etc. Only very few, like you and I see it completely different.

    Btw…no reason for Baby to regret ! She can def make an opportunity to take a trekking trip at another time! Hope she’s enjoying her time there! 🙂

    • J1289: She is studying in the top residential school in Spain. She will never get a chance to stay at that school again do the trekking with her friends. So, no, some things you can’t get back.

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