28 years ago, I joined the medical college to study MBBS. My mother and my oldest sister bought all the sarees without consulting me. I do not like printed sarees, I like plain sarees with a border and every single one of those sarees were printed. They even packed my bag for me. My sister was meant to stay with me for a week and protect me from ragging. Instead she left 3 hours after we arrived at the medical college and left me to fend for myself. I didn’t speak a word of English, the only Kannada words I knew were that all the words starting with pa in Malayalam can be changed to ha in Kannada (with the exception of Patti which is not hatti in Kannada) I also knew nothing about sex and had erroneously believed that women have a zipper in the tummy and it was opened only during birth. How naïve was I that I never wondered how the heck the baby got in to the woman’s tummy..
I was ragged mercilessly by my seniors and while all the new students had their mothers staying with them, I was all alone..
I will be going to US next month. Yaya will fly from Barcelona and together we are planning to travel around a bit before her classes start. I plan to buy all the things she needs when we are there. First thing in my list is a blanket. Yaya has been using the same baby blanket I bought her when she was 2 and had to sleep in her own room. I refused to let her take it with her to Uni. It is still folded and kept on her bed and every now and then I go and sit on her bed and I can almost picture her snuggled under her blanket. Her adopted grandmother had a goose down blanket and Yaya always loved it, so I am going to buy her a goose down blanket. Initially I thought I will buy her a single size, but this would be something she would use for a long time, so why not a queen?
I think the last time I bought Yaya a dress was when she was in grade 7. I bought her grade 7 graduation dress.. She buys all her clothes herself (same with her brother and sister, they too buy their own clothes) She has packed two bags of clothes that I have to take from here. So, I guess she will have enough clothes..or if she needs more, she will buy it herself.
Couple of years ago, while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and waiting for footy(I never miss a single NRL match) to start, TV was on and Modern family was playing.( I hate that show). What I remember about that particular episode was that the parents buying a large supply of condoms for their daughter before she joined Uni. I thought that was really odd..
Yet, before Yaya left, I bought and gave her one year supply of Oral contraceptive pills. It is not my business who sleeps with, but it will be my business if she gets pregnant. Consequences of teenage pregnancy are tremendous..
She knows about sexual transmitted diseases.. actually I must say, she knows everything about sex unlike her own mother at the same age. She should have the smartness to protect her from STD.. So instead of buying her condoms, I thought it would better to buy her pills. My friends (both the GP and the paediatrician) agree.
I will be staying with Yaya the first 5 days of her Uni..I know how it feels to be abandoned by your family when you need them the most..
You know what is really weird.. When I look back and see the 17 year old me, the village urchin, who was standing outside the medical college on a cold winter morning.. I never thought there would be a day I would write about sex and condom in a public post..
Such is life
🙂 All the best to Y !
Ra: Thank you
Hi Sarah,
Haven’t commented in a long time, but I still diligently read all your posts. Which school did Yaya join? Your post about the baby blanket reminded me of this episode http://www.npr.org/2016/06/21/482835589/creature-comforts-the-power-of-touch-and-affection-in-our-lives
All the best to Yaya and you. And do count me in as a friend in the US.
KT: There is something about the power of touch and affection.. thank you for the offer of friendship
“You know what is really weird.. When I look back and see the 17 year old me, the village urchin, who was standing outside the medical college on a cold winter morning.. I never thought there would be a day I would write about sex and condom in a public post..”
It maybe “weird” but I think it’s certainly something that many people who read this blog may get some insight from by just reading your experiences.
Best of luck on your trip to the US! Hope you and Yaya enjoy your stay here and that the transition from high school to college is smooth. I remember when I was in that position where I had to transition to college life and learn to be independent. But I will admit that those college years were the best years of my life and I can definitely see Yaya saying that when she graduates. Most of us find it nervewracking in the beginning, but we end up having the best times of our life!
PS: Are you guys planning to travel around the US? If so and if you plan on visiting the Northeast (where I live), I’m open in giving pointers on some good places to see if you ever need suggestions 🙂
J1206: This time I planning to head to Canada.. I have always wanted to see Krumholz effect, so Yaya and I are going to Churchill in MB.. May be we will see Belugas or Arctic fox or the Northern lights.. who knows..