Harder than I imagined

The past few days Yaya has been busy cleaning out her room. Yesterday I  helped her to pack some of the things away.

First thing I noticed was the grey silk bag. I made it for her when she started her Ballet lesson at the age of three. I bought the fabric and hand stitched a bag for her. I also bought silk ribbons and braided them to make the strap, so it won’t hurt her shoulder. She carried her ballet shoes and leotard in her bag and I remember taking her for her lessons every weekend. I also remember how much I struggled entertaining her younger siblings while she was attending her lessons. It was the time before Ipads and other forms of child entertainments. We played countless I spy games, read stories and ate waffles with Kaya and Butter.

Next item that went in to the box was a little glass angel my oldest sister bought for Yaya. I don’t remember when she gave that to Yaya. When we were in Canada, Toothless broke the angel’s head and I remember how much Yaya cried. I spent the next few years looking for a new one and I did find one eventually and gave it to Yaya as a Christmas gift. So she now has a headless angel and a complete angel.

There were also two out of shape clay bowls.. her brother and sister made for her when they attended summer camp. It was held at the Surrey art Gallery and which was very close to the Bear Creek Park. And everyday, I would take the three of them to the park after their art camp. They were so little.. so full of life and love..

By then I couldn’t stop crying and I didn’t want her to know that this is really traumatic for me.. so I lied and told her my back is aching and I need to lie down.


6 thoughts on “Harder than I imagined

  1. Her leaving must hurt more than anything but I’m sure the knowledge that she’s leaving to pursue great things will soothe your pain. I’m hoping she’s heading off to California *cough* Stanford for college ?!

  2. I dread this even though it will be two years befor my oldest flies the coop. Got a taste of this, this week, when my oldest went across the country to a summer program and my younger one left on a backpacking trip and am not liking it one bit! But we Need to let go ….:(

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