Yesterday Yaya came home at 8.30 pm and my son at 9.45 pm. (Yaya will be 18 in June and my son 16 in a couple of weeks)
I had written about staying with my cousins in US and how they went after their 25 year old daughter who came home at 10 pm. She had gone for a birthday dinner with friends and her parents expected that she should be home before 9 pm.
Yaya finished work at 2.30 pm, so technically she should be home after that. She didn’t tell me where she was going, with whom or what she was planning to do. Parenting books would tell you that you need to know every second of your child’s life.
I should, but I don’t. Exactly 123 days from today, my child will be backpacking alone in Europe, after that she is going to Uni. I am not going to know every second of every minute of every hour of her life. There is no point in trying to be in control of her life. My job was to teach her to be responsible for her own actions and I just have believe that my child will be safe.
I was cooking dinner when she came home.
“What cha cooking?” She asked
“Falafel” I replied.
“You are an awesome mom, I love your falafel” She replied
“Where did you go today?” I asked
“Oh, I met T after work, it is cheap Tuesday at the movies, so we went and watched How to be Single”
“Did you like the Rockefeller Christmas tree?” I asked
“Yup, that was magical eh? Remember the Santa on the Harley?” (Kids and I went to Rockefeller centre on Christmas eve and we saw a guy in Santa suit riding a Harley)
My son was still not home and we were hungry, so we didn’t wait for him and had dinner.
My son came at 9.45 pm. In his case, I knew where he could be till then. He gets his weekly homework on Tuesday and uses my ID and book a room at the UQ library, so he and his friends could discuss and do the homework and get it over with. He told me, he would be doing it beginning of the school year. So he could still be doing it. Or perhaps he decided to go for a movie with his friends. Either way, it really doesn’t bother me. He came home, gave me a kiss and said “Mom, I am famished, can you please warm up my dinner while I take my shower” and I did. While he ate his dinner, he told me where he was (at the library) and that he finished all his homework.
There was a time I was really paranoid about my children’s curfew. I have now learned to let it go. It feels good to be not so paranoid.