I think the first time I fell in love with Jade was when I was living in Sabah. Someone had donated a jade necklace as part of the offering in the Catholic church and my cousin bought it from the church. It was an antique jewellery set and very pretty. My cousin fluffed her plumes and strutted around wearing the beautiful necklace, revelling in the attention.. because everyone knew she paid more than the market value for the jade..because the money was going to the church.. for a good cause. What no one noticed was that it was a flawless piece of imperial jade.. easily 50 years old and that for someone to donate such a valuable heirloom, there had to be a reason.. I felt the church should have kept it.

I have always watched the older Chinese women wearing jade ornaments and thought they looked really beautiful..

Years later, my mother wanted a jade pendant and I went looking around for a perfect jade..and due to my political convictions, I even made sure that the jade wasn’t from Myanmar..

I never really bought jade for myself.. not sure why I didn’t.. Not that Jade was very expensive.. there is something about finding that perfect piece of jewellery.. I never got around to it.

When I visited NZ, I kept finding jade jewellery in every shop we went to and I kept  thinking the next shop will have something even better.. this went on. till I reached the airport and realized the price was easily 10 times more at the airport and I didn’t like anything they had at the airport..

Jade comes in various colours, my favourite is Kingfisher jade that is semi transparent. The green of kingfisher jade reminds of me of the green in Kerala after the monsoon rain..

I did tell him the story of my ill luck finding the perfect jade months ago.. But I didn’t tell him the colour I like. He had never been to Kerala.. and he wouldn’t have understood what I mean when I talk about monsoon green..

He bought me wine from NZ ( pinot noir, cause I am really partial to that). He collected  Manuka shampoo and conditioner from the hotels he stayed in NZ, because he felt I deserve only the best.. He bought raspberry and vanilla body soap..I had assumed he would buy lemon and mint cause he knows it is my favourite..But he opted for the raspberry one because I did tell him long ago that my adopted daughter had brought it with her when she came to stay with me and it smelled divine..He even bought stuff for the kids..

The thing is, I knew he was going to get all these.. and I really wasn’t surprised.

Finally, with a beautiful smile that lit his face up and with a twinkle in his eyes, he then handed me a very small parcel…. really really small parcel..

“What is inside?” I asked him..I am not good with surprises that I can’t predict..

“You should open it” He replied

I felt outside the parcel.. I couldn’t figure out what it was.

I looked at him..he looked so happy.. as if he knew this was something that would make me really happy.. I really had to see what he got for me, so I tore open the paper cover.. and inside was a small kingfisher jade pendant..




7 thoughts on “Jade

  1. Why is buying things so important. What happens when it does not stay so enthusiastic about this, collecting your favorite things. Because relationships start like a party, and once party is over, people go home and start eating normal food and go on to doing boring business of everyday, which is more sustainable. Same thing happens in life, relationship has to be sustainable on a very boring day, when there are no trips, no buying things etc etc.

    • Joan: It is called ’empty love’, when you stop doing simple things like buying things for your partner, and live a life that is predictable and boring and with occasional acts of intimacy, you then have empty love.. I want a life that I love to live..with passion, intimacy and commitment. I don’t do boring and I don’t do empty love. It is a fallacy that boring love is sustainable.. yes, quiet a lot of marriages have empty love and last decades..but those were not because each individual in that partnership is committed to make it work.. it is because they give up on love instead they coast along because of kids and social/family pressures or because they are afraid of being alone in their old age. I would never ever have a relationship like that. IF I lived with a man for even a day, it will be because I love him and he loves me and that just looking at him makes my heart sing for joy..not because it is a relationship and it needed to be sustainable on a boring day..
      My best friend met her husband when they were both 15..everyone predicted the marriage would never last..they have been together for 30 years and have 4 kids, he still takes her out for dinner every weekend, he takes her for camping every now and then and most of all, as he travels for his work, every time he comes home, he will always buy something for her.. For her 40th birthday, he baked her a heffalump cake ( her fav character from winnie the pooh) Their marriage is sustainable, because of little things..and because they don’t make their life boring.

  2. Sorry, did not mean to troll, but I can speak only for myself. My partner is not one of those men, who buys things, takes me out regularly, or even romances wit me. We are 2 people, who cannot wait to see each other at end the day, eat a boring meal that I cook at home. I will be super annoyed, if he was too clingy. We went to a movie almost after 10 years, and he fell sleep in the middle. Out most outings are family vacations to places. Money, kids, are not the reason to keep us together. I like this honest and genuine guy and he likes my unconditional love, support and humour, my go get attitude and most of all our comfort level with each other. We fight, laugh, and have lookouted for each other, for last 25 years.

    • Joan: Each to his own. As for me, I don’t do boring. I am passionate about every aspect of my life. I will never make a boring meal, because if I do something, I will do it well..If I love, I will love with all my heart and will do everything to make it perfect.. I knew he was working from home one day and I knew how much he loves chocolate donuts, so I bought chocolate donuts from a speciality shop, went to my friend’s coffee shop and got her to make the best cappuccino that is really hot( if you ever worked as a barista, then you will know if you use too much heat, then the coffee will be bitter, so it took few tries to get it perfect) and packed it insulation.. so it will still be steaming hot while I drive to his place (30 minutes away. I know I made his day that day..and it was worth every bit of effort I put in to it. I believe “Love that is not madness is not love”. Pedro Calderón de la Barca

    • Anphy: I don’t want to leave him.. but it is not possible for me to go to Barcelona in the next 4 years.. I can probably make short trips.. 4 years is a really long time to be apart.

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