Of all the coincidences that connect the two of us, we both felt this would be the most unbelievable.
Few days after we met, he asked me “When is your birthday?” And I replied “in March”.
” When in March?” He asked and I told him my D.O.B and I did notice him taking a deep breath which I found it really odd.
As our friendship grew, one day he told me
“Remember that day when I asked you about your birthday?”
“yup” I replied
“When you told me it is in March, I braced myself and hoped it is not on the 16th”
“Why?” I asked.
“It is my mom’s death anniversary”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and I didn’t ask anything either. Death of a parent is devastating and I felt, all in good time he would tell me. Over the months he told me a lot about his mom and even though I never met her, I know so much about her.
The day before he was leaving, I was at his place. I sat next to him on the couch, with my head on his shoulder and I realized this year for my birthday he won’t be around and I won’t be with him on the saddest day of his life. I thought I should remember what ‘number’ his mom’s anniversary would be this year
So, asked him
“What year did your mom pass away?”
“1996” He replied
And in a flash it all came to me.
1996, in the first week of March, I turned 25. My oldest sister called me to wish me and told me ” Next year, you will have a little one to celebrate your birthday” I was expecting my baby.
Few days after my birthday was the Dunblane disaster. The Saturday after the disaster, I woke up and found myself bleeding. I remember it was Saturday because the University health center, where I was registered as a patient was closed and I had to call the hospital emergency and the lovely NHS system put me in a never ending loop of absolute chaos. I remember wishing I was in Malaysia, I could have walked in to any emergency hospital and got the best care. I finally managed to get an appointment by late evening to get an ultrasound.. By then I knew, there was no hope.
I lost my baby on the Saturday after Dunblane disaster. 16 th of March 1996. and what is even more odd, I lost my Baby in England and his mom was English.