No, I am not learning to type..Just in case you are wondering.
It so happened that few days ago Yaya was going out to meet her friends for movie and dinner. She wore a tank top and jeans and since it is almost winter, she was also planning to wear a jacket over the tank top.
When my son saw her, she didn’t have the jacket on and he asked her, “Are you going out wearing that?” in the most annoying condescending tone.
Before Yaya killed him, I thought I might as well interfere.
“What is your problem?” I asked him.
“Well, if she is my daughter, then she wouldn’t be allowed to go out wearing that. I have only one rule. BBB. No daughter of mine will leave the home showing Butt, Boobs or Belly” ( apparently he heard that over the radio..some other father had said that was his rule and my son felt it is the golden rule to raise daughters)
I am one of the most liberal mothers you will ever meet. I have never been a moral police. Where did my son learn to be a moral police?
It has nothing to do with you or your upbringing. Some of this is hardwired… hypocrisy- one code for the daughters, one for wife, one for mothers, one for girl friends.. (might be starting gender war here ;))
MS: We are now officially in to gender war..
Moral policing or just developing into a typical overprotective father? (Or maybe he’s just practicing for his future daughter??). LOL.
Don’t get how wearing a tanktop and jeans does not mean you’re showing “BBB” though, it’s not like you are showing off your “BBB” physically. You’re still modest. Btw, I wonder what Yaya’s response to this was 😉
J1206: The issue was not how much of Yaya’s body was on public display, but more to Why should I man tell a woman what she could/not wear. Yaya’s response to her brother was to shove his opinions to where the sun doesn’t shine.
hahaha.. He proved that after all he is an Indian. 🙂
Saju: I think he was being a hypocrite…He checks out every girl that crosses his path
men are from mars and women from venus?
Nimmy: I don’t know Nimmy.. I raised them without gender stereotyping..and still things like this happen
Perhaps he saw his sister as teen male perspective ,
I have 2 older sisters and I have been in the situation where it really hurt when I over heard comment about the clothes they wore from other kids who did not know they were commenting about my sis with me around.
My parents were quite liberal and interfered little with our choices
RA: I am eternally grateful to you for your comments. I now understand what might have caused my son to have such views.. however, I still find it very disturbing..that there will never be gender equality.
you are welcome sara, i am all for free liberal choices. But at the same time, you cannot ignore human mentality and tendencies and practical reality.
If I know that a certain dress is going to get my child in trouble, I wouldnt want to risk letting my child find out the hard way. Again, its not to curb independance but being cognitive of a teens sense of invincibility and lack of experience.
Its a tough call on what the right thing is. Especially after all these stories we now see in the media, not that its not happened in the past, its just that we now hear about these
Ra: I am studying gender inequality as a subject. It bothers me much that I can’t fix the problem. Certain way of dressing/ being out in the night or not fitting in to the gender specific role should never get a girl in to trouble. I want the world to be safe for the girl, not the girl to be safe from the world.
I could not agree more on wanting an safe and ideal world.
This is something that every family needs to cultivate with their children. If a child grows up seeing the father abuse their mother, or other women how will the child know what is right. Society needs to change attitudes and thinking needs to change.
Ra: I actually wanted to write about that.. one of these days.
All these years of this “liberal mother” brand all in vain failing to impress even your chidren.
All talk about gender equality and a lot. Any woman consider her equal to her boyfriend? her husband? Any woman behave like that? They themselves accept man superior and grab the opportunity to get protection. The easy way to overcome difficulties at somebody’s expense. So it is the woman who create this inequality. Not to blame man.
Bipin: I am equal to a man. I am not week that I need a man’s protection. I have a man in my life, just as that man has me in his life, for companionship, biological needs etc. I talk about gender equality because men like you think take the high road and think that women are weaklings and need your protection. You can’t accept the fact that women will do better if you let them.. Gender equality starts with you… the day you accept women as equals.
My liberal attitudes didn’t cause gender inequality when it came to my son. It was his own inbuilt reactions like MS wrote that made him act that way. But my job is to nip in the bud, so he won’t grow up judging women.