Porn and you.

First of all, let me apologize for going AWOL. My server was down and I had to move the blog to another server, which took a lot of time. Thank you all for the concerned mails. I haven’t had a chance to reply to all the mails yet.

And today’s post is about Porn.

As a child growing up in India, I was really clueless about pornography. A lot of my classmates ( guys) went to Madras for a Sam Fox show and one of them told me, he only went because she had big boobs.  To me that sounded scandalous.. Until then I thought boobs were for breast feeding. There was also a small photo in the forensic medicine dept depicting group sex. Which none of the girls wanted to see. It was all too scandalous.

Sometime ago, I received an email from a reader who was asking me for help because she couldn’t talk to anyone else and didn’t know how to deal with the issue. Her husband thinks it was manly to slap her face, pull her hair etc during sex because that is what they do in most of the pornographic films and women in porn films love that. Much as she tried to explain to her husband that she doesn’t like to be slapped or want her hair to be pulled, he doesn’t get it and is angry with her because he thinks she is a typical ‘country’ Indian woman. I didn’t have any advice to give her. But I did think of my children.. I am sure they watch porn and in all likelihood they must be thinking that is real.. I have been wanting to tell them that porn is not real. Then I read this article and I thought I would share it here.

Although the article linked below is addressed to a son. I don’t think there ought to be a gender divide. I think every parent ought to talk to their children ( boys and girls) about porn.

Here it is

 

4 thoughts on “Porn and you.

  1. Wow. I don’t really have much to say on this lol. First time I was exposed to porn was in a hotel room in California when I was 14 when one of my cousins (unknowningly) was flipping through channels and there was a channel where they were doing porn and crazy sex lol. We were just sitting there gasping. I already learned what sex was in school year prior in health education and had an idea how it worked (though I never seen ppl having sex that time), but once seeing that channel I thought that’s how you “do it” and was kinda horrified. But now that I”m older I know better ha 😉

    I agree kids and parents should talk about porn/sex and when it’s appropriate and unappropriate. My parents never did that with me and my brother. They kind of figured we’ll get it eventually and we do know a lot about it now.

    • JT: It is the same problem among Asian parents who finds talking about sex is a taboo. Yet sex is a normal biological function..just as you eat, sleep etc

  2. “The Mother’s apprehensions are fake and ridiculous like the actions in the porn movies. The boys today are sensible enough to understand the realities. They are intelligent to understand the orgasm scenes and others.
    Before internet it was video cassettes. Then CD and computers made it easy and convenient. We have seen the guys doing with snakes. Have heard anybody done it in real life? There may be perverts but cannot be generalized. Sex education, it is bull….
    The ‘‘Mother” seems to be a pervert. A frustrated sex maniac who wants to make sensation out of nothing. How far you are travelling Sarah?

    • Bipin: you are missing he forest for the trees. In a recent study, it was noted that almost all the boys and 2/3 of the girls above the age of 13 who participated in the study were exposed to online porn. Before the advent of internet, porn was something private. You hid in your room and read a porn magazine or watched a porn video when your parents weren’t around, kind of knowing that what you are doing is something not really right/normal. Now kids watch porn on their phone at any time of the day and children have lost the ability to discern what is normal.
      There is something called Archetype development which the brain uses like a shorthand and stores as a reservoir of information. If you have seen a scary movie about a snake or heard from someone that snakes are dangerous, then you develop an archetype of fear of snakes. It is the same for pornography. The type of porn they watch forms their sexual archetype before they even had their first sexual encounter with their partner.
      My son was very sure he knew how to drive a car because he has been playing car racing games for a long time and has finished most of them with very high ranking..Till I got him to drive my car..so he could see that reality is different. Children don’t have the sensibility that you think comes with intelligence to understand the orgasm scenes.
      I am not sure where you got the idea that sex education is bull shit or the fact that a mother wrote frankly to her son about how unreal porn makes her a frustrated sex maniac.
      As for me, it is very important for me to teach my children that sex is a very important part of human relationship, it is intimate and private and they understand there is something called consent and respect. I am totally aware that association of sex with violence or coercion threatens the safety and sexual health of my children and their partners and I am not willing to let that happen.

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