One of the critical requirement for a happy childhood is the presence of extended family. Sense of belonging happens when you are close to your relatives, especially grandparents/aunts/uncles and cousins. I am really concerned about the lack of family bonding with my children. Either I can cry about what is wrong or do something to fix it.

My neighbour has stepped in as a surrogate grandmother for my kids. She remembers their birthday and bake them a cake. She has my kids over at her place once a month for tea and sometimes join me to watch their drama/music performance at school.

My friend K has taken over the role of the aunty. She takes Yaya out for shopping and Yaya has plenty of sleep overs at her house. Last school holidays, K organized my son and her son to spend a week at her mother’s cattle station near Sydney.

I have always wanted a large brood of nieces and nephews. I am never going to see any of my real nieces/nephews, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy being an aunty. I have an almost 5 year old nephew in California and his mom often posts photos of him on FB. He is so adorable. There is a photo of him holding his father’s hand and walking to the park( holding a kite) and it is my favourite. I have never met his parents or him. But for all intent and purpose, he is my nephew. I  am also an aunty to a brand spanking new niece. She was born a few weeks ago. Yaya and I went for shopping to buy things for the baby. All those tiny baby clothes/shoes and those colourful was so much fun going through the nursery section at the malls.

..Surrogating works..

8 thoughts on “Surrogating

  1. You definitely have a nephew here. Since I am off Facebook, I need to email you his pictures.he turns 4 in 4 weeks

    • MS: It was a tough lesson to learn..but I am glad that a lot of people have stepped in to various roles to help me cope.

  2. When my oldest was born, me and my husband made a mental note to ourselves that we will never say/do any thing -ve, about our and each others family, even if there was a reason to say. That way, kids minds are not poisoned, and they build healthy relations with everyone in our extended family, when we visit India. My kids donot have a biological sister, but when some asks, they list names of all their cousins sister names in India. My oldest asks me often, when every one from India will move here, so he can play with them all the time. I hear them talking with other kids and each other, listing people’s names who love them, and that list is really long, since they name every one in family, sometimes even our close friends that live here in US. I think that bond is priceless for kids, because all they need is love, and doesnot matter where it comes from. It makes them feel that world is a happy, loving place, not big, bad, dangerous.

  3. So true about extended family..

    When you’re surrounded by them, it does bring peace and joy (well most of the time, in my family we had a good share if vigor fights causing us to separate). A few weekends ago I had one of the best times when all my cousins and I got together enjoying each other’s company and bonding. It does suck though when everyone leaves and we all have resume back to normal life.

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