The boy..

He is my friend’s second child. My friend and her husband are Ivy league  graduates. Their oldest child is exceptionally brilliant and I know for sure will get admission in one of the Ivy league college.

But the boy is different. He has severe learning disabilities. But what I found absolutely interesting is the way his parents raise him. They raise him exactly  like they raise their oldest child, as normal.

I hired both kids to work as waiters for the party. The boy was in charge of making fruit punch and serving it. I expected the mother to stand next to him and guide him. She didn’t. She trusted him enough to be able to handle his chore all by himself. He did a brilliant job.

His parents know that academically he is not going to get in to an Ivy League. But that didn’t stop them from treating him as a normal human being.

How often we push children who struggle academically because their failure is considered a failure of the parents not doing enough? Wouldn’t it be better to raise your child by encouraging their strengths and accepting their weakness?

 

12 thoughts on “The boy..

  1. This also applies to situations, where parents treat 2 typical kids different, due to age, birth order or sex. Only people who understand its impact of this on a child, choose to do differently. A child’s worth and eligibility for parent’s love is not determined by their ability to go to Ivy Leagues.
    I still take my 9 yr old for a piggy back ride around the house, when his 4 yr old brother takes a piggy back ride with me. I take turns taking them both around the house on my back, to make sure, my older child doesnot feel left out from the joy, just becoz he is older and heavier for me to carry.

    • Joan: It is called FOMO ( fear of missing out). There is a time for everything. There is no way, I would give a piggy back ride to a 9 year old because I did the same for his youngest sibling. I expect my 9 year old to know that he is too heavy for me to carry. I refuse to break my back so my oldest won’t suffer from FOMO.

        • I was about to say I am also not the bharath mata kind, but while writing this out, I finally ended my standoff with my son and took out all beans from his noodles so that he eats his dinner(it has broccoli and carrots also which he was ready to eat). I always get defeated when it comes to food. He was ready to spend the entire night in the bathroom (naughty corner) since he didn’t want to eat the noodles the only thing he asked was whether he’ll be provided with a pillow and blanket. sigh!

          • Thumbi: I am very strong willed and from the time my children were little, I had one rule that they could never break. They will eat what I cook and will not tell me they don’t like it. It works 99% of the time. Baby doesn’t like mushroom, but eats the pasta with lovely creamy sauce ( I grind the mushroom) without complaints. My son is not fond of Biriyani, but will eat because he has to eat what I cook without complaints. ( for his sake, I only make biriyani once a month)

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