Time is flying.

From a little girl who used to make me read to her every hour of every day, my oldest daughter has grown from a child who spend all her time with me to a teenager who is hardly home. Every other day she has a party to go to, a gala to attend etc.

She and her friends have progressed from having ‘crushes’ to serious dating.

I thought I was prepared when it came to raising teenagers..but the unknown is so damn terrifying. I worry so much about their safety.There was an article few days ago in the paper titled, things I didn’t know I liked..the writer mentioned, all her life she hated getting her sleep interrupted and now she finds the sound of her daughters high heels clomping on the pavement in the middle of the night, waking her and the rest of the neighbourhood soothing. The sound of clomping heels tells the mother that the daughter is home safe after a night out.

I dropped Yaya to her work place on Saturday morning and picked her up from her friend’s house on Sunday evening. ( in between she went to see a play, attended a Halloween party, had a sleepover at her best friend’s place and attended another birthday party the next day).

I do not want to be a paranoid mother, but I was tempted so many times to call Yaya and ask her if everything is alright. I didn’t call her because I have to let her go. I have to let her find her way.

Every hour I checked my phone to see if there is a text/missed call. I kept awake all night worrying about my baby girl.. She phoned me at 5 pm on Sunday, all cheerful and happy and asked ” mom, can you please pick me up at 6.30 pm?” she had no idea that I missed her or that I was worried about her. She said ” I love you mom, see you soon” and put the phone down.

All these years, I hated the phone ringing. In fact my landline automatically goes to the answering machine because I hate to talk over the phone and now I wait for the phone to ring..

2 thoughts on “Scared

  1. I will be in the Same boat in a couple of years & already I’m scared. On the one hand you want them to experience life and not end up being naive and dependent on the other hand you want them to be safe. I read somewhere that the reason teenagers have so much conflict with their parents is because they are trying to cut the umbilical cord having almost a rebirth trying to find their own identity. A wise parent is one who understands that and let’s them be being there for them only when they ask for their help or if they see some drastic signs that would need their intervention – easier Said than done! I guess I will worry a lot just like u!

    • Goutham: when my children were little, all three used to climb the grill on my balcony and my sofa cushions were always on the floor next to the grill..I allowed them to climb, but I knew they would be safe if they fell..and now there is nothing I can do to protect them and I am so scared..

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