Probably the one thing I believed in. that would be my saviour through each and every abuse I endured was that, One day I could leave home and go to a place far away from all the madness.
A degree and a job was all I needed to leave home, both I knew I could achieve and I couldn’t wait to grow up.
When I was in 3rd Year MBBS, Amma received a marriage proposal for me. The boy was a dentist working in Australia. Amma consulted with George and replied ” We can’t send our girl that far away to Australia, besides it doesn’t look nice a doctor girl marrying a dentist boy”. It was funny that the proposal was for me and no one bothered to ask me for my opinion.
I bought the books for USMLE the day Amma rejected the proposal. I was studying pathology in 3rd year and my first USMLE book was on Pathology. It costs me 230 RS. I can still see the yellowish orange book cover and what it represented, My freedom. My classmates thought I was showing off, they had no idea that it was my ticket to heaven.
When I was 5, I imagined when I grow up, I will have a cellar filled to the brim with chocolates, cakes and candies. ( Hansel and Gretel must have been the inspiration). but from the time I became a teenager , I only dreamt of one thing. I was going to have a home with a loving husband and lots and lots of children. A house full of children and I will give them all the love that I was denied.
So it was a big shock while we were having dinner and Yaya said ” I can’t wait to grow up”
I think my heart actually missed a beat when I heard her say that. I wondered if I turned out to be like my mom and my precious baby girl too wants to run away from home, like I did.
“To do what?” I asked.
” I want to travel and visit all the places , Mom”
“But, I do take you to all the places” ( I didn’t deprive them of travelling, they have been to so many countries compared to kids of their own age)
“No Mom, it is not about travelling as a family, I want to travel on my own, explore the countries like Ireland, Iceland etc and learn their myths and history”
Hearing her sister’s dreams, the youngest too said ” I can’t wait to grow up, then I can live in my own home and have all the pets I ever dreamed of having.” ( I will blog about that tomorrow).
My son was quiet during all these growing up discussion. So I asked him ” What about you?”
“Nope, I don’t want to grow up, then I don’t have to make decisions or take responsibilities. I am pretty content to go on like this for a while at least”
I took a deep breath and said to myself “All is well”
Keep their rooms and their belongings. They will be coming back after seeing the world!! (well until they find someone and settle)..
MS: I don’t think so ma..Yaya will finish her grade 12 in Nov and US Uni’s start in Sep. She is already planning what she will be doing at that time ( travelling) and I thought, she would think those few months are really precious and spend it at home with me.
Here is a real story. This happened at work today. One of my colleagues was walking with a spring in her walk and smiling and I asked her why she was so happy…she told me that her 28 year old daughter had finally moved out and was living with the fiance.. so it seems like she had been trying to get her to leave, and finally she moved out on September 1!! This lady is not helping her financially, but it seems like the daughter has moved to a neighborhood that is not so well to do, so she is worried and offered to pay her moving if she moves out of that place!!
Another colleague was complaining that her kids (both son and daughter) are still staying home and her husband wants the kids to move out so that they can downsize!! 🙂
MS: Time will tell ma..
One would never do to others,especially their own ,what one lived through .In fact they would be extra conscious and take care not to put others through what they once endured .
PP: you are so right.. But I am always weary of turning out to be like my mother..