Yaya is 15 years old now.

When I started this blog in Oct 2005,She was 7 years old. I still remember holding her hand and walking with her to her first day as a grade 2 student in Canada. She was wearing a pink barbie jumper, barbie shoes and her hair was tied in two small pig tails. It took me more than three attempts to tie her hair exactly the same way she wanted. When the bell rang, all the kids had to line up and the respective teachers came out of the classroom, greeted the class and guided the students back to the class. I remember checking the height of the other children and sighed gladly to myself that Yaya wasn’t the shortest !

Currently, she has a layered hair style. She changes her hairstyle every other month by saying “it is just hair, it will grow again”  Unlike my mother who came with me each time I had a hair cut and told the hairstylist what hair cut I should have, I let Yaya go to the salon on her own. It is her hair and she should decide what style she wants. She will not even admit that she once liked Barbie.

I also remember how horrible life at home with my mother was when I was 15 years old. At that time all I wanted was to run away from home and I know for sure that if I wasn’t a girl and was a boy, I would have.

I ensure that there are no conflicts in my home, because I want my children to feel safe in their own home.

I do not insult them or their feelings. I do not call them names. I do not belittle their friends. A very dear friend of Yaya is going through teenage rebellion at home. Ideally, I would like Yaya not to have friends like that, because she is in an impressionable age group now and can pick up bad habits from other kids of similar age. But I also know that I have raised Yaya well and that she is old enough to know what is right and what is wrong. I feel, I can’t protect Yaya from all the bad things in life, all I can do is to be there for her.

I am pretty honest with my children and talk to them about everything. Instead of saying “no sexting”, I told them how a single photo is all one needs to be blackmailed. I told them about Amanda Todd and Rehtaeh.

I do not snoop, I don’t check their phone, email, facebook etc because I don’t see any benefit trying to spy on your children. After all, the more my mother spied, the more creative I became!

As my children are growing up and are in their teens,  I realized is that the only thing that really matters is “trust”

I have had 15 years to teach Yaya what is right and wrong, now I trust her to make the right choices. It isn’t that I am letting her fly free, I still have the string in my hand, while she the kite can soar among the clouds..

My advice to Yaya on her 15th Birthday

“All dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them ” Walt Disney.