This post is a rant, read at your own peril.
They say one must not add salt to the wound, but sometimes you can’t stop yourself from rubbing in the salt, especially when the wound was created by selfishness.
What is this with Malayalee parents who think that giving life to a child means life long obedience, that makes the parents the master puppeteer and the child a puppet that dance according to the tunes set by the parents?
My senior would still be alive if it wasn’t for his parents. He died alone at night because his parents didn’t want him to move to where his wife works. He was told to stay in his family home and if his wife wanted to live with him, then she just have to quit her current job and move back with him. ( she couldn’t get a similar job where he lived and was working in the same place before she got married)
The poor guy was stuck in this quagmire of loyalty to his parents and his family life. He just couldn’t hurt his parents and they took advantage of his guilt.
We gave you life, we educated you and now you must take care of us, it is your duty ! This is the common manthra practiced in many homes in Kerala.
How many marriages are destroyed by selfish parents with ulterior motives?
When will parents learn that “your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of tomorrow”.
Every parent out there have a child because they didn’t use a condom/pills or even better, practice abstinence! You, as a parent chose to have a child and it is your responsibility to raise them, educate them and then set them free. Everyone grows old, but it is irresponsible to hold your children as your old age insurance. I am not saying that filial piety is wrong. It is wrong when the needs of the parents overtake that of the child. No son should ever have to choose between his parents and his wife. Shame on the parents who continue to make children feel guilty.
My senior never had a family life. I do know that he really wanted to stay with his wife and his parents refused to leave their family home and move to where his wife works. ( this is our home, we lived here all our life and we want to die here). It was they who chose the wife for him..and they continued to choose his dance tunes. He just drowned in his own sorrow while waiting for his parents to die, so he could be free of his obligations. He waited for his tomorrows when he could live with his wife.. sadly he didn’t get a chance.
Raise your children and set them free from the jail of duty and obligations you have built for them.