Sometimes !

Six months ago, I hit rock bottom..I felt I was drowning in a deep dark hole of sadness and reached a point where I didn’t want to get out, for I felt what was the point?

Then I remembered the person who taught me the greatest lesson of all..”Having choices doesn’t equate freedom. Making decisions sets you free” There is a small story behind the origin of this saying. This was said by a friend who was trying out to be a Jesuit priest for ten years. He wasn’t sure if the path he took was the right one and he tried it for ten years and realized that it wasn’t meant to be and this is what he said when he quit becoming a Jesuit priest.

I had plenty of choices and the only way I could set myself free was to make a decision.

It certainly wasn’t easy. I was terrified of loneliness.
Then I realized that in my loneliness is the greatest gift that I could ever get. Solitude.

When I became a mother the one thing I couldn’t have was few moments of solitude. I dreamt of the day I could have a few moments of solitude.

Dalai Lama said once ” Not getting what you want sometimes is a wonderful stroke of good luck” and 6 months ago, I wouldn’t have agreed to that.
But this morning, I woke up with such happiness and the first thing I thought was how miserable I would have been had I really got what I wanted. Sometimes I sell myself too short, but then again I think I have a  a guardian angel somewhere who seems to be getting me out of sticky situations.

And so here I am..perfectly happy !

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