Let us rewind a bit here..
My cousin in US send her 2 month old daughter to India to be raised by her parents. She was busy working as a doctor and felt her parents would do a good job of raising her daughter. After all her parents did a great job raising her.
I argued with her forever,because i believed that it is the responsibility of the parents to raise their children. Grandparents have done their job when their children left their home. It is unfair to ask them to take your role. It is unfair for the child as well.
Now here is the problem.
In all likelihood, I will be posted to a very remote area for a year.
Schooling of my kids is going to be a big issue.
I will have to send my children to a boarding school,
I know a lot of kids stay in Boarding schools. Life as a boarder does have its own benefits.
so this is my question to those parents who have send their kids to boarding schools
How do you cope with the knowledge that you have given the responsibility of raising your children to a total stranger?
To the kids who have stayed in boarding school
How did you cope living without the one person who love you the most in the whole world?
Let us rewind a bit here..
Sending 2 month old daughter to India vs sending older kids to boarding school is a very different thing Sarah. When a baby is 2 months old, the parenting role is mainly taking care of the physical needs of the baby – cleaning, feeding, bathing..When kids gets a little older, the parent role becomes more of a cheerleader, supporter, emotional dependence. Even if the kids are in boarding school, I doubt if the wardens will be take that up. It still remains with the parent, though mostly through virtual contact.
I am not saying sending kids to boarding school is not tough. All I mean to point out is that you are not outsourcing your parenting. A strong family will remain connected despite geographical distances. Sending off 2 month old babies to India delays that bond formation because you and the baby hardly know each other then!
It's tough initially since kids at the boarding school would have already formed their groups. Once you get a little familiar with the surroundings, it's fun. You will miss your parents, family, and home food, but at the end of it, you will be stronger and more independent.
Like Sara it is hard for me to stay away from my kids even for a day. When I was writing my thesis I stayed back in Australia for just 2 weeks and my husband and my 4 year old son went to India. I could not focus on my work at all as I missed my son so much. So I went to India, participated in my sister’s marriage and we came back together. Then I submitted my phd thesis within a few weeks. I still wonder why I agreed to stay back when I knew very well it is not going to work. All other physical hardships I can take but the emotional torment of not being able to know how my kids are, not being able to see, touch, kiss or hug them is the hardest thing of all…
Smitha: I didn’t take up that job offer because I refused to be apart from my children.