This is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and today I decided to do it.This is a work in progress and I will add more as and when I get time.As most of you know me and my wonderful kids, if there is anything you want to add, do leave a comment.
The thing about life is, we are never given a chance to know how long each of us live.
As your mother, there are so much I want to tell you.
First of all let me begin by apologizing for leaving your father.
I come from a broken family and I know more than anyone how important it is for children to have a proper family.
Believe me when I tell you that I tried. I really tried to give you a proper family and only quit when I could no longer cope.
However, I need you to understand two things.
one: It was never your fault. Whatever issues I had with your father was my own. It was never because of the three of you. NEVER.
Two: Your father and I wanted each of you very much. We waited anxiously for your arrival, we shared the joys and the heartaches.
You mean the world to both of us, even when we live apart and the three of you will come first before anyone else in our life.
Just because I didn’t get along well with your father doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t/wouldn’t. He is your father and you will respect him. He is not perfect,but remember always that neither are you.
I have enjoyed every second of being your mother. The three of you are the best thing that ever happened to me.
As you grow up, you will learn that life isn’t a bed of roses. ( remember, even the most prettiest roses have thorns).
You will also learn that sometimes you lose.
In every race, in every game there is only one winner. But it isn’t always the winning that matters. It is the game, the race, being part of it, that is what matters. It takes courage to participate, knowing that you only have 50 % chance to win.
Give it a go. be it love,be it the exams that you never studied for or the badminton game with your friend.Don’t be afraid to do something because you know you would lose.
It is ok to lose. You can always try again.
my darling, you know how much I love you?
There is no meassure on this planet that can meassure my love for you. You are my favourite and I know you know that.
My fondest memory of you is how you helped me each morning to get the towel, powder and diaper ready for your brother, while I bathed him. You were 22 months old then and I never asked you to help me. I don’t know how you knew what to do. excatly at 11 am, you would bring your baby foot stool to the bedroom. Then get the towel from the changing table, climb on the stool and lay it neatly across the bed, always with the edges straight. Then you would get down, get the rest of the stuff and keep it on the bed.
When I was about 12, I won a book at the sunday school and it was the story of Yonako, translated in to malayalam. Yonako lost her legs in a train accident when she was young and eventually got married and had kids. She mentioned in the book that how her daughter helped her to cook when she was very little. She mentioned that her daughter was her guardian angel. My darling you are mine. I wouldn’t have survived raising your brother and sister without you. You are my rock, my support.
You wanted to learn to write when you were about 3. I got you a pencil and a note book and showed you how to write. But you weren’t holding the pencil right and I was adamant that you will hold the pencil properly. I can still see the way you looked at me and told me, “I don’t want you to teach me to write”
I leanrned my lesson. Much as I want to be perfect, i can’t expect you to be. It was a good lesson to learn and because of that you and your siblings had a better childhood.
When I told Dr. Tsung that I was expecting, he looked at me for a long time and then said, baby born in the year of tiger! good luck if it is a boy and double good luck if it is a girl!!! Now that I think of it, raising you was a challenge. All i wanted was to raise you without making you cry. All you wanted was to cry. Do you remember that I promised to bake you a cake of your choice from my recipe book collection if you don’t cry for a whole day??
I did. When you were 5 years old!!
Once, I heard someone ringing the door bell ( we were living in KL, on the 18th floor). I opened the door to find a woman whom I have never seen before. she asked me, do you want me to take care of your child for an hour, so you could have a break. Apparently she heard you crying from morning and felt sorry for me!!
You always had a mind of your own. You never ate a cookie that was out of shape. You never drank the medicine without having a huge tantrum.
You always listened to me. ALWAYS.
You never lied.
You always completed your home work.
Your books were neat, your desk was tidy. ( I am pretending not to notice the current state of your bedroom. I think that is part of being a teenager!)
If anything happens to me, baby please take care of your siblings. Be there for them. Make sure that daddy won’t chew their brain. I know you can. I taught you how to !