My maternal grandmother had done a cross stitch entirely using sugar beads. It was a Georgian cross with the words “Bear the cross and win the crown” at the bottom. I must have been about 4 years old when i saw it. I couldn’t read english and asked Chechy to read it for me. She did. But then she wouldn’t tell me what it meant. I hate not knowing something. I begged and pleaded with my sister to tell me what it meant, the more I begged, the more she refused. There was no one else to ask. ( I could never go to Amma and ask, she felt I was too nosey!!)
This morning I was thinking of my maternal grandmother. I know I never wrote much about her. She was a very tiny woman with a big heart. I remember her letting me use her lap as a slide ! She never complained. Not once. She took whatever came her way in her stride.
It is odd that I thought of her in my moments of despair. Even more odd that I thought about that cross stitch I have not seen for the last 35 yeara.
I guess what i am going through right now is my cross. Mine alone and I must bear it. How I wish i could just run..
I don’t need a crown.
But I do wish i have the strength to carry this cross.
I will be Away until the end of this month