I am stuck between so many worlds.
I am a Malayalee, yet I think that is only true in the ethnicity part of who I am.
I own a Kerala saree, like to eat kanji and payaru. speak the language, celebrate onam and vishu.
I stay away from other malayalees.
My children do not identify themselves as Malayalees at all. I never encouraged them either. I thought it was better that I raise them as a citizen of the world
I do not think of myself as a Malayalee beyond my ethnicity.
That in essential is the problem I face now.
I am constantly struggling with the values my mother used as a yard stick to raise us to the values I think is ideal for my children.
Amma would have had a heart attack if I had told her about my first crush when I was 7 years old. ( He and I had even decided who we were going to invite for our wedding! and we even finalized the menu for our wedding lunch. He liked fried fish and I liked mooru).
For me, I have no issues with my children having a crush . I have been there and know the feeling.
Yaya has been in and out of crush for the last few years.
Toothless has a crush on a girl in Canada and crush on a girl here.
Baby has a crush on a guy who is in grade 7 ( Yaya’s classmate!)
But would I let my Children go out with their boyfriend/girlfriend to the mall?
Of course I will be branded old fashioned just like ‘Ammachi’, when that happens.
Girls in Yaya’s class are already going out with their boyfriends to the movies etc.
I guess their mothers have no problems with it.
But I do.
I don’t know.