The four people I hate the most.

There are no words I can use that would describe how much I hate these four people.
They have been around me since my birth.
Watching every step I take hoping I would stumble.

Before I took each decision I had to think how these four people would react.
I wanted to be able to scream and shout this is my life and I will live the way I want to.
But still the four people mattered. They are integral part of my life.
I couldn’t just shake them off.

Yesterday as I was waiting for my daughter to come out of the OT, I noticed all the Doctors and the medical students. I watched them talking and discussing,
Not too long ago I too was one of them.
I too was a doctor. I thrived on Adrenaline rush..

Someone I love dearly had taught me that having choices doesn’t equate freedom. Making decisions sets you free.
I made the decision to stay at home and raise my kids.

But it hurts each time I walk in to a hospital.In those moments the four most hated people lifts their ugly head.
In front of them it is essential that I should say nothing about my own feelings. I can’t show them that I actually miss being a doctor. If I did then these four people will point their fingers and shout ‘LOSER’.

But I am not running away from my own feelings.
So here it is to all the four people.( nalu peeru!)
I miss my work
I miss my life.
And right now I wish I could say it was all worth.

Deep in my heart I know it was worth every bit..But then again.. I am allowed to feel like this once in a while? Don’t I?

Oh Forgot, I was supposed to find the answers to these questions

Does anyone know how high a Helium balloon can go? Does it reach stratosphere?
And what happens to the salt in the sea water when the sea freezes( Arctic ocean to be precise)

8 thoughts on “The four people I hate the most.

  1. i think it will be worth it starting over again..why not?

    heluim balloons will go up till it cant expand any longer and will pop. it could be many kilometers

    Salt in arctic is just like any other ocean, except that it is a bit lesser.

  2. i think u becoming more free when u tell you miss those… then wht they have more to declare? they will lose interest when you not ready to fight 🙂 and until you don’t ask them food, you can avoid them too 🙂
    and now u can show u have more important things to care of 🙂

  3. oh dear, i felt the same not too long ago. so now m doing a part time course ie. one evening a week which helps stay at home most of the time n also stay sane!

  4. First of all, donot look at THEM mentally, for their approval. 2nd. donot underestimate your job as a full time mom. It is a previlege. It is normal to miss that life when you worked as doctor, but there are so many doctors I know, who in the peak of their carriers, go part time, or quit. You have 3 kids, and I think even going part time will be a struggle. They will not need you, when they grow up. So this is the time, you want to use to stay close to them. You can always return being a doc, once you are done with your primary job.

  5. I left a corporate career after i couldn’t handle kids and work any more. Basically I was bored out of my mind there and thinking of home. Now I’m bored out of my mind at home. =)
    The problem with us, is there is no tangible reward for what we do at home with the kids. and we are always second guessing ourselves if we are doing Ok, and then feeling guilty afterwards.
    Our kids only need us now, they may turn around and start blogging about us when they are older (horrors!!).
    The decision to stay home is ALWAYS hard, at work, you are appreciated, you are rewarded for a job well done, and you have interaction with colleagues who may fill a void in our lives.

    However, everytime I think of this, and how “unsuccessful” I am compared to other career high flyers at my age, I think of Indra Nooyi’s commnet (CEO of pepsiCo) – her 10 year old daughter has to call indra’s secretary to make an appointment to see her own mother. indra sounded wistful at that point, then i wonder if it is all worth it.

  6. No matter what you do now you are still a docter ,its something that no one can take away.As others have mentioned you can work when your kids are big or when they don’t need you much around .But keep in touch with the medical field ,so when you are ready to work you wouldnt feel out of place.
    And now enjoy your kids,and consider their achivements as yours and be happy.Not all the Moms can stay at home ,even if they want to. So chear up girl.
    By the way Iam a dentist who is a stay at home Mom and each time I visit a dentist I have the same feelings as you had.So its natural I think.

  7. mm, sarah, we used to send helium balloons from our research vessels, these helium balloons were attached with several lightweight sensors for collecting data and they are called radiosondes. these helium balloons used to go upto an average height of 25kms. so you can say, around 20-30kms based on the pressure inside and outside the balloon.

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