May be it was the fear of being attacked by a mad woman, may be it was the guilt of trying to use my own mother’s body as a defense, I was feeling very uncomfortable. I wanted Amma to walk fast, so we could get out of the church and be on our way back home.
I listened to the rhythmic sound of the gravel crunching under Amma’s feet as she walked. I looked at the gravel. Mixture of smooth stones of different colours. I tried to see if there was any shiny stones in it. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to find a diamond.
If only I could find a diamond! Then I would never have to be worried about the financial implications of being deaf. May be God was working miracles. May be the miracle was me finding a diamond.
Should I still buy 10 candles and light them at the church to honour the promise I made if I find a diamond?
Aiyyah You are a big pishukki ( stingy person)!!!. I told myself. If you find a diamond, then you will have enough money to buy 100 candles!!
I looked up just to take a quick glance at the mad woman and what she is doing and also to see how far we are from her. She was still another 20 feet away.
Mad woman was combing her matted hair with her fingers.
So far so good. Amma in front of me and a distracted mad woman, I knew I was safe. I went back to diamond hunting!
We will live in big house, we will have a car, we will wear wear nice clothes, we will always have good food. (there will be cake every day, may be ice cream also). I will eat all the cakes and ice cream all by myself. I will not share it with my sisters.
I don’t have to share with my sisters. I found the diamond right?
My sisters, they are so mean to me. Why do I have to share my good fortune with them. I won’t. I will teach them all a lesson.
I almost bumped in to Amma.
In my eagerness to teach my sisters a lesson, I had not noticed that Amma had stopped walking.
Amma was looking at the mad woman.
Oh no, now Amma is going to tell something to the mad woman. She probably would tell the mad woman to get a life instead of sitting in front of the church and scratch her kundi (butt)
“Come, Amma let us go” I grabbed Amma’s hands.
Mad woman stopped combing her hair and she was looking at us both.
Entey karthavey, ippol kalleru thodangum( she is going to throw the rocks now)
“Amma va ( come)” I started to pull Amma’s hand
“Wait” Amma pulled her hand from my grasp.
I looked at the bus stop. I could still run to the safety of the bus stop. If Amma wanted to be stoned to death, that was her choice. I was not going to stand here and get myself killed.
“Elsa” I heard Amma call
Elsa? I looked at Amma to see what was going on? Elsa? What is Elsa?
I looked at the mad woman. She was staring at Amma. Only then I noticed her poochakannu. (green eyes).
Her eyes looked weird. Green eyes in a face full of grime and dirt. Green eyed women are supposed to be beautiful. Street urchins are not supposed to have green eyes.
“Elsa alley? (are you not Elsa?). I know you are Elsa. I remember your eyes” Amma spoke again.
For a second, I thought I saw something in those eyes. Was it the happiness of someone recognizing you? Then the eyes became distant. As though someone turned off the light. She stopped looking at us. She started to comb her hair with her fingers.
I watched Amma opening her hand bag and taking her purse out.
she took out a note. I looked at the money. Pink colour 20 Rs note! What? Is Amma going to give 20 Rs to this mad woman?
I watched Amma walking towards her and placing the money in front of her. Elsa took the money immediately and placed it inside her blouse and continued to look down and comb her hair. Amma stood there watching her a few seconds and then started to walk towards the bus stand.
It didn’t make sense to me. My pishukki (stingy) Amma, who gave 25 paise as an offering to cure my deafness, paid 20 Rs to a mad woman.
I wanted to ask Amma who was Elsa. But Amma was busy buying banana from the tuck shop near the bus stand. May be Banana is cheaper in Puthupally. Tomorrow morning she might be planning to make puttu. I didn’t like to eat puttu with pazham. I liked to eat puttu with green gram thoran. There was no point telling Amma what I wanted to eat. Because I knew what her reply would be
kalathu enettu ethokkey undakkunnathu pora, ninakkokkey, ini payaru thoran koodey ondakkiyaley evalkokkey puttu thinnan okkathollu. ( not enough that I get up early in the morning and make breakfast. Now you want green gram thoran as well??)
“how many?” The shop keeper asked Amma. He was holding a curved knife in his hand
“1 dozen” Amma replied.
1 dozen? Oh no, she is planning to make puttu for a few days! It is nothing but kashtakalam (misfortune) for me.
Amma paid the shop owner.
Then she opened the cover and pulled out 2 bananas.
“Go and give” Amma gave the bananas to me and pointed to Elsa
“no” I shook my head. I was not going to walk to a mad woman and give her bananas.
“Go and give” Amma was hissing. Amma’s eyes looked round and big and I knew the smartest thing to do was to walk over to the mad woman and give her the bananas. I knew if I had stood there defiantly, my mother would have slapped me infront of everyone. The rock showers were better than being humiliated in front of others. I crossed the road and dropped the bananas in front of Elsa and was about to run back when I heard
“mary de mol ano?” Mary’s daughter?”
I turned to look. She was still looking down.
“hmm” I answered.
I didn ‘t want to stand there and talk to a mad woman. What if anyone noticed that we knew this mad woman? What will people think of us? I didn’t want to be associated with a mad woman. I ran back to Amma.
Now more than ever, I wanted to know who was Elsa.
I saw the bus coming and I planned to ask Amma, as soon as we get inside the bus.
I saw Amma looking at Elsa as the bus left the bus stand.
“Who was that Amma?” I had to ask
“Elsa” Amma replied.
I knew that already. I wanted to know who was Elsa
“How do you know her?”
“She was my classmate”
“huh?”
“She studied with me at the women’s college”
Amma closed her eyes and leaned back against the bus seat.
“She was a college beauty at that time. Everyone wanted to be her friend. You know how the chattakarees (Anglo Indians) are. Full of life. She had three brothers and two sisters. All good looking. It was a big happy family. I used to celebrate Christmas at their house. You know how boring hostel life was? Visiting Elsa’s home for Christmas was an event I used to look forward to.
Then everything changed one day. Their father left them and all of a sudden Elsa had to take care of her family. She stopped studying and started to work in some company as a clerk. Slowly the life they have known and lived all those years slowly became the cause of all their troubles”
“What do you mean?”
“nothing. You won’t understand”
I didn’t understand. I looked at Amma, hoping for an explanation. None came.

A week later I saw Amma packing few of her old sarees, blouses and underskirts in the morning
“Where are you going Amma?” Liza asked
“Church”
“With that?” Liza pointed the clothes bundle.
“hmm” Amma nodded and was looking at me. There was something about the way Amma was looking at me. Was she trying to tell me not to say anything about her mad friend to my sisters?
I didn’t know why Amma was ashamed. But I never told my sisters about meeting Elsa. I never told them that Amma wasn’t as pishukki as we always thought.