I thought of asking Amma again for Maria’s address. But then again, I didn’t want to jinx that tiny little happiness I felt being close to her. I had a better idea.
Although I only had to be in the college on Monday, I decided to leave Kottayam on Saturday.
“Amma, I will go back to Bangalore today” I spoke to Amma after helping her wash all the dishes.
“Go tomorrow Nina, You only need to be in Bangalore on Monday right? Today is Thiruvonam. Why do you want to travel on thiruvonam day?”
“I have to do Physiology assignment Amma, I have to submit on Wednesday. I may not have enough time to do it.”
“Oh ok”
I really had a physiology assignment to submit on Wednesday. Actually I had about 4 pending physiology assignments to submit! I have been waiting for the arrival of Juniors!
“I am thinking of renting a house in Bangalore” Amma spoke. She was looking at me to see my reaction.
I had to think before I answered. What would be the right answer?
“I think it is a wonderful idea Amma” I replied
“You think so? Really?” Amma looked at me surprised
“Of course. Sally can go to a better school in Bangalore and I can come home during week ends.” I thought of telling even Maria can stay at home, instead of staying as a paying guest in someone else’s house. But I wasn’t sure if I should mention that, so I didn’t.
“Houses are expensive in Bangalore!”
“Yes Amma, but we can surely manage”
“You think so?”
“Yes Amma. I am sure”
“Ok. I will tell Acha to start looking for a house”
Acha! Acha! Acha! Everything in my house has to be done by that mad man. Why does my mother have to depend on that man? My blood pressure was going up. Amma was looking at me and much as I wanted to yell at her for being so dependent on that bastard, I kept quiet. I will find a house myself. I will ask my classmate Arjun for help. Anyway he is from Bangalore. He would know all the good residential areas in Bangalore.
“I will get ready” I spoke quietly and walked out of the kitchen. I knew I should move on with my life and ignore that idiot who is my uncle, but the mere mention of that man’s name still freaked me out.

There were hardly any passengers on the train. I sat by the window seat and watched the scenery. For the first time, I noticed the graffiti on the walls. There were election logos and film posters all over the streets. Even the electricity poles were not spared of graffiti. There were banners tied on the poles. Most of the banners were made of cloth material and there were holes in the banner. Holes created by the person who hung the banner, so people won’t take the banner down and use the material to stitch a skirt or pillow case!

I looked at the pathetic condition of the narrow roads. Buses,autos, small one ton trucks, bullock carts, cyclists and pedestrians were all fighting for their right of way on a road that at its best was fit for bicycle transport.

Soon the train was passing Bharathapuzha river. I looked outside. Most parts of the river was dry. There were puddles of water here and there. There was a time Bharathapuzha held so much importance to the Malayalee. The emperor of Kerala was chosen, during the 28 days of Mamankam festival held every 12 years on the shore of Bharathapuzha. And now thanks to advancement in techonology and ensuing feats like bunds and dams, the river was dying. Only a Malayalee can forget his history. When the rest of the world worries about heritage and conservation, we are busy destroying the vestigial remnants of our past. I felt sick being a Malayalee.
There was a reason why Kerala is called God’s own country. There never is a place on earth geographically more beautiful than Kerala. Like the two sides of the coin, Kerala was also devil’s own country. The ugliness of Kerala can be seen on the total disrespect Malayalees show on their environment, the way they treat their women and the way they twist and turn rules and regulations to suit their needs.

I was just so glad to be back in Bangalore. The roads were wider and cleaner. Most people cared to obey the law. There were hardly any graffiti on the walls. But more than all that, the thing I enjoyed the most in Bangalore was my personal freedom. No one ever asked me, Where am I going? or What am I doing. I ate breakfast at the railway canteen. I had a full day to look for my sister. I had once heard Amma saying that Chechy was staying in Ulsoor close to the Gurdwara. I took an auto and went to the Gurdwara. I wasn’t sure, how I would be able to find my sister. But I am not the one to give up that easily. I paid the rickshaw and got off. I looked around. Across the road there was a small stable, inside had 2 small ponies. I was always amazed to see ponies. It is not often you see a pony in Kerala. Someone was feeding the ponies. After feeding the ponies, the man placed a metal like thingy on the face of the first pony to cover its eyes. Then without any warning, he used his whip and hit the pony on its hind legs. The poor creature was whinnying. I was so mad. Why do people hurt animals without a reason? I thought of going up to the man and giving him a piece of my mind. But my Kannada vocabulary was limited to Eshtu, Gothilla, halu and hatti. Besides I needed to find my big sister.

I decided to walk each street. I knew it won’t be that hard to find my sister’s house. Today being Sunday, Chechy would be home. Knowing her she would have washed all her sarees. I just have to look for the sarees that were hung outside the homes to dry to find my sister.
I walked slowly. Streets were full of traders pushing the carts and selling everything from vegetables, fish, meat and even plastic wares. I could hear someone singing
“Thakkalippazham, vendekkayeeee Beanseeeeyyy(tomato, okra, beans)”
I looked around to hear who was the owner of such a melodious voice. I found him squatting near the cross road, there was a round cane basket in front of him. He must have been in his 60’s. Unlike all the young traders pushing the carts, the man had just a few vegetables in a basket. Everyone was ignoring him, but he kept singing
“Thakkalippazham Vendekkayeeee Beanseeeeyyy”.
I felt sorry for the trader. May be he is the sole bread winner of his family. What would his family eat if no one buys vegetables from him? I knew Maria likes okra theeyal. I stopped in front of him hoping to buy some okra. The man looked at me with hopeful eyes. I looked at the basket in front of him. I just couldn’t believe it. There was not a single tomato or okra or beans in his basket. He had one ridge gourd, 4 semi dry cucumbers(sotheykai) and some coriander leaves that at some stage was green colour but now was full yellow.
“Amma, buy sotheykai(cucumber), good one!” he lifted one pathetic looking Cucumber and was showing me. He was speaking Tamil
“Where are all the tomatoes and okras?” I asked him in Tamil. He was so happy to hear me talk in Tamil.
He smiled a toothless smile and replied “Don’t have”
“Then why are you singing about tomato and okra?” I asked him
“Aiyyah Amma, it sound nice that way, that is why I am singing” He spoke so innocently.
I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. There was no way I was going to eat cucumber that was already yellowing at the edges. But I didn’t have the heart to extinguish the hopes in that trader’s eyes. I gave him 5 Rs and told him to keep the vege and walked off.
I walked for almost 2 hours, looking at each and every house.There was no sign of my sister’s clothes anywhere. I knew I was stupid to have thought that I would be able to find my sister from the clothes on the clothes line. I didn’t even know where I was, so I decided to get in to an auto and go back to my hostel. Just as the auto turned in to one of the lanes, I saw the familiar blue saree with white flowers. April pathinettu saree! It was a saree popularised by the heroine of the April 18 movie. It was Maria’s favourite saree.
“Stop the auto” I shouted.
The driver was yelling at me. I ignored him and ran all the way. I knew I would find my sister. I was just so happy. The saree was hung on the first floor balcony. I ran up the steps and rung the bell. My heart was beating non stop. I wasn’t sure how Maria would react, when she sees me. But I knew she would be happy to see me. I could hear footsteps coming towards the door and I heard the latch being opened.
A lady wearing black Purdah opened the door.
“yes” She was staring at me
“Maria?” I asked her
“What Maria?”
“is this Maria’s house?”
“Who is Maria?”
“My sister”
“you don’t know where your sister stay ah? Liar, you are coming to check out the houses, so you can get your friends to break-in at night don’t you? I should report you to the police. Get out of my house.” she removed the slipper from her feet and was almost about to hit me. I ran down the steps. I could hear her hysterical screams. But I knew, no one would believe me, even if I tell them that, I was actually looking for my sister.

Chechy: Do you remember,During Liza’s graduation, you were complaining that I never bothered about you during the times you were in Bangalore. Remember I told you, if only you knew!
If only you knew, the kilometers I walked each Sunday looking for you..then you would have known how much I cared for you.