The early morning time in Kerala, during the monsoon period is special. the air is damp and soothing and the cool morning breeze begs you to sleep some more.My alarm was ringing mercilesly. All I wanted was to sleep. It was a saturday and there is no reason why I should get up at 6.30AM. I tried to switch off my Made in Taiwan alram clock, bought with all my angpao(money collected during chinese new year) from the night market in Penang. I couldn’t find the knob. It was still ringing and I tried to smother the clock with my pillow, so it would just shut up.
“Nina OFF your alarm” yelled Maria. Her bed is on the other side of my room.
I tried to find my clock from under my pillow, I couldn’t find and I let it ring.
“I am waiting for the day I can leave this mad house” Maria yelled and came towards my bed. She pulled my pillow from under my head and in the ensuing chaos, my made in Taiwan alarm clock fell down to the hard cemented Kottayam ground.
“Amma, Maria broke my clock”
“I didn’t, I was trying to shut it off”
“I will get you for this Maria”
I got up from my bed, picked the pieces of my alarm clock from the floor and marched to the living room.
Amma was sitting at the dining table. She had a page from one of my work books infront of her and she was doing some calculations.
“Amma see what Maria did?” I showed her the evidence of Maria’s atrocity.
“Nina, not now, not in the morning. I am busy”
Then on closer inspection I saw Amma was crying.
“Why are you crying Amma?”
“I can’t afford all these Nina!”
“All what?”
Amma showed me the list, Rent, Maria’s fees, our school fees, utility bills and salary for Akkachi. Amma’s salary was 1248 RS/month and after deducting everything we are in the negative.
“we need money for the train ticket, new clothes for Maria and for her hostel deposit. Where am I going to get all that money now?”
“We will have to find a way Amma”
“Don’t speak if you have nothing valuable to say” She yelled
“Aiyyo.. Amma don’t get angry, We will manage somehow”
The house rent was 600 RS and that is almost half of Amma’s salray . Then inspiration struck me and I wanted to yell Eureka.
“Amma, you will have enough money, if you don’t pay rent. Anyway Chacha Appachan is in US and he won’t die, if he doesn’t get rent every month”
“If we don’t pay the rent, he will throw us out”.
“Ofcourse he will, but he needs to take a plane and come all the way here, by then in all likely Appa would come back and we will make him pay.”
“If your father comes back I will chop him in to pieces”
“oh pinne Appa will stand leaning on the main gate and sing
kananacholayil adine meyikkan
njanum varatteyo ninte koode
and you will sing
vannolu, vannolu
vegham vannolu
adukalellam
kshinichupoyi
I leave the translation to more learned fellow bloggers
My mother was laughing and it was a joy to see that.
“If your father come here and sing that song I will take the parang (sickle) and then I will show you what I am going to cut.
“yeah yeah, say all the dialogues.. I know deep in your heart you still love him, even if he is a devil, he is still your darling”
“podi..Go and ask Akkachi to make some coffee.”
“Amma what about new clothes for Maria?”
“What kind of clothes do they wear in North India?”
“I don’t know Amma”
“Amma, how will Chechy manage all on her own?”
“I don’t know Nina, I am worried”
“May be you should go to her University and see what clothes they wear and then buy new ones for Chechy”
“But I have no money Nina”
“You have Amma, We will sell our bangles”
My maternal grandmother gave each of us a gold bangle before we left Malaysia.
“No Nina, we can’t sell the bangles, your grandmother gave that to all of you. May be we should pawn it”
“No Amma, we will sell it. we have no money to get it back from the pawn shop” “I don’t know what will I do without you Nina”
“I don’t know what will I do without you Amma” and I hugged her
Angpao: during Chinese New year, elders give children money in small red packets and although I was no way Chinese, Malaysia, being a multiracial country, people share the festivals and I always got plenty of Angpao http://www.expat.or.id/images/angpao.jpg
Having you by the side must have been a huge relief for mom.
Every day goes by I admire u more and more.
man.. you are prety balanced.. and can without the weight!!.. great!!
Wow! I don’t know what to say. I was starting to think that you never had such moments with your mother. I am glad it brought you close. I kind of feel sorry for your Mom also. Given the situation she was in, I don’t know if I would have acted any better if I were in her shoes.
I just hope and pray that you have been able to shield your children from your past experiences. I know that will not be easy.
You were your mothers right hand.You gave her strength. You remind me of my oldest sister. Mom relied on her for everything. My mom even said she wanted to die in my sisters arms. But unfortunately it did not happen that way.They were thousands of miles away.But today I think we have to thank our sister for everything we are.
I hope your sisters appreciate you and that you guys are close.
Your reference to angpow brings back memories. It was so much fun doing the rounds and collecting those red packets. It was great to grow up in M’sia.
I just wonder what you mom would have done with out you! You were so strong .. her third leg to stand firm!
GREAT story!!
I am deeply touched by your comment in my blog.
For me, it is an unanswered question…why ‘sacrifice’ should mean MORE Love ?
I think when you are nice and sweet…people take advantage of you. I have seen many examples in India…A cousin of mine (from my mother’s side) was given a job in one of my father’s factory. After couple of years, he ran away with loads of money. He came back after 7yrs or so, saying sorry (did he really sorry? i don’t remember maybe he didn’t) and my father accepted him with open hands saying ‘you are family’. Luckily, my mother said…’yes you are family but you will never step inside the factory again’.
So you are glad to be miles away from your family (though you love your family)? Believe me or not, you are not the first person to tell me this…
PS: After i discovered your blog, whenever i miss home and feel homesick i come and read your articles (though i don’t make comments) and it is always nice to read your articles, especially the ones with ‘amachi’,,,i jusst like her.
All of us readers of your blog wait anxiously for the next chapter!
Ok After days and days of reading your story, today finally I am commenting. The reason why I did not comment is – as interesting the story may be I just could not appreciate “what a great story” because it has been ur life – ther seems to be a string of sadness – that really taunts me.
The way you are reliving your past experiences without bias is astonishing. The way you have enjoyed with you grandma and the way you have loved her and later felt bad for the fact she did not accept you when your father left – Its easy to have reacted then in the past.
But to relive the emotions so truthfully is very very great and comes only to great writers.
The way you write the blog is very simple yet so deep and brings kerala and your family in front of my eyes.
Great writing and I am eager to know what happend next. Take care girl and do well !!
in the end, “a kodak moment” :p
Thats what it is about family that they stick together in crisis…!
touching
cheers
Precious moments indeed. Sarah, seems like we share more than just similar backgrounds..
Sarah, I have a new post in my naalukettu. Somehow,I want you to read it.
“What will I do Saraha, without you?” – L.G
Thanu: thanks
Sujit: I hd no other choice
Anon: I try to give my kids the safety, that I never hd.
Starrynights: unfortunately, when people reach their goals in life, they then begins a journey of forgetfulness..my sisters don’t want to remember their childhood and my sweat!
Ann: I still am happy to be a Malaysian..if only the UMNO nuts understand that!
I love Munich: thanks
Prash: I replied in your blog
Hillgrandmom: wow..someone from Kottyam!!.. that feels nice
Revathy: when i read your comments I wasn’t sure what exactly I should think. I started writing, to heal myself and to bury my grandmother..my only writing experience is the 20,000 words thesis for my master’s degree. And when you told me I write well..hmm that was sweet and nice and it means a lot!! Thanks
Jithu: you come up with classic one liners!!
Dawn; thanks
Cynthia: really? I thought mine is the worst!!
Lg: I am going to read now and will post a reply..
This is to let you know that I read every word you write.
Keep writing, Sarah !
🙂
And the translation is……..
kananacholayil adine meyikkan
njanum varatteyo ninte koode
(will you come to the meadows to look after the grazing sheep?)
vannolu, vannolu
vegham vannolu
(Come, come. Be quick)
adukalellam
kshinichupoyi
(The sheep’s in a bad condition)
Really “Nina”, you are quite fluent in malayalam. And u know the vintage songs too, it seems!!