As I sat in the bus on the way home from Chengannur, few things that didn’t make any sense to me. Why did my father leave just because my sister wanted to do engineering? Where did he go? How does he expect us to survive? But the most difficult question was why did Ammachi change all of a sudden? She was very hostile to myself and Amma, when she heard that Appa vanished. She didn’t even offer us that we could stay in Chengannur house, which is rightfully our house anyway.
My mother was silent all through the journey. When I opened the house door, the scene at home was pathetic. It felt as though someone died.Maria’s face looked swollen. Appa must have hit her on the face.
“Nina, what are we going to do?” She howled the moment she saw me.
“It is all my fault, I should have joined medicine”. She was still crying
I was 11 yrs old and Maria was nearly 18. All of a sudden I felt I am 18 and Maria is 10.
“No, it isn’t your fault. You will do what you want to do in your life.” I told her.
“How are we going to survive?” She asked again
“We will live no matter what.”
“I don’t know?”
“Amma, how much money did Appa take with him?” .
“You mean he took the money that was meant to buy a house as well?. My parents sold our house in Malaysia and Appa didn’t want to put that money in the bank, because he had to pay some tax.
“Yes Nina, he took the money meant to buy a house too. He said he won’t spend his money on his family, if they don’t do what he says.”
“But it is Amma’s money too.” I spoke and then I noticed Amma is getting more upset.
“Never mind, forget the house and the money. We can still stay in this rented house, anyway this house belongs to Chacha appachan.”
The house we are staying now belonged to my mother’s uncle. He lives in US with the rest of his family. He only rented the house to us, because my mother is his niece.
“Maria, when do you have to join the engineering college?”
“Two weeks from now, but it takes 4 days to reach the college!”
“What?, which college are you going to study?
“IIT, Kharagpur”
“Where is Kharagpur?”
“In west Bengal!”
“Which college did you get admission to do medicine?”
“Kottayam medical college.”
At that moment I didn’t know, if I was smart to have told my big sister, she should do what she wants. She got admission to do medicine in a college that is 20 mints away from our house, and she wants to do engineering in a college that is 4 days away.
I sat down on my father’s easy chair, with a huge burden on my shoulder. I have three sisters and a mother to take care of. I need to send my sister to engineering college and I have no money. Then I remembered, the State Bank Account.
“Amma, we have some money in the state bank, right?”
“It is joint account Nina.”
“What is a joint account?”
“Your stupid father and I have to sign, to withdraw the money.”
“Then we have to find a way to get Appa’s signature.”
“Don’t be stupid Nina, We don’t even know where he is.” Amma was nearly mocking my intelligent idea.
I looked at Liza. she has helped me all the time to put my father’s signature on my test answersheets. she forges his signature very well.
“Liza can sign Appa’s signature Amma”.
I saw the stunned look on Amma’s face.
“Don’t worry, she has been doing that for a while.” I consoled Amma.

19 thoughts on “Aftermath

  1. You were just eleven and you were trying to shoulder all the responsibility.I admire your courage.I had not read fridays post so I was totally confused when I started to read todays post. So I went back and read what had happened.

  2. wow!I mean that is a lot to handle.

    And you really had your head screwed on to your shoulders while others were losing theirs.

    He couldn’t have just left you like that and gone.
    That’s terrible!
    IIT Kharakpur…did you know there is a song called Sutta na Mila by some of the budding talent from that college.
    I didn’t until my sister made me listen to it and it’s jolly good.
    You should download it sometime and have a listen.

  3. What a heavy burden on your shoulders … the the age of eleven!! I really admire your, the way alexis leon said, practical wisdom! Nobody asked you if you had courage – you HAD to have it! It must have been hell of difficult for you!

  4. oh.. man!! you are too strong and effecient thinker at hard times, when other might get a blocaked into their thought process when a lightening strikes!!.. you are too good!!

  5. The old saying that when the going gets tough, the tough get going applies to you. It is in adversity that we see the true nature of our loved ones. Kudos to you and I hope Ammachi wont disappoint.

  6. That is a big responsibility on an eleven year old’s shoulder. Ur mother and sisters are lucky to have somebody as strong and courageous as you.

  7. ‘Sister engineering collegil padikkanam ennu paranjappol sarayude appan veedu vittu poyi. Viswasikkan prayasam. Aanungal angane nisara kaaryathinu veedu vittirangumo? Engane oru note post cheyyan ulla inspiration ‘i love munich’ nte previous comment ananennu paranjal sara nishedikkum ennu thonnumnilla’

  8. Alexis: thanks

    Starrynights:most people think, wht i hv now was given to me in a golden platter..nobody sees the amnt of heartaches and hunger behind it all.

    Maya:I hv never been there. Can you send me a link to the song..

    I love Munich: there wasn’t any other choice. My mother couldn’t handle stress and my sister was just abt to go to uni.. There was only me.

    Sujit: No Sujit, it was the circumstanes tht make you do things

    Anoop: thanks for visitng my blog and thank you fo understanding.. It is hard to pen all the emotions down, all the stories behind, the betrayals..

    silverine: Do you know, winning is more important than the blood relationships.. My dad wanted to win, my grandmother wanted to win.. each forgot, we are their family.

    Suji: tht courage was also a double edged sword..u will know later, why I said tht

    q8techdrive:hmmm u r right

    Dreamslittle: I wasn’t courageous.. it was the ‘need ‘ then, to come out of the deep hole we were sinking in to.

    Dew drops: thanks


    Monu: yep: I take my kids out on visit places near.. Yesterday we went to whonnock lake!!

    YSAJ: I am only one among 4 with considerably less IQ matter.. My sister managed to get admission to do both,medicine and engineering.. i still struggle to do simple maths!(athelle dr ayethu!!)

    Has to be me: Yes she did.. She managed to do engineering.

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