I got up in a good mood, was making her snack, then she asked me if I would drop her to school this morning.
It is raining and i haven’t even brushed my teeth. I told her baby it is raining and I don’t want to walk
“But you promised me you will drop me every wednesday “(which is a walk to school day and today is tuesday!!!!)
I replied, I didn’t promise, I said I will try and it depends on the weather.
“No, you said you will, you never keep your word”
That tripped my sense and sensibility. I grew up in a family, where my mother didn’t know anything about keeping her word. Like the time, she assumed I am sick because my hair is long( irrelevant that I always wanted long hair) and promised me, she would buy me a budgie, if I cut my hair. She took me to a men’s salon because they have the shaver that can cut my hair really short. I endured getting bald, so I could get a budgie. When the ‘annai’ finished cutting my hair, I looked like an army recruit on his first day at the camp. We come out of the shop, me still happy because I am getting my budgie, and my mother looks at me with a straight face, “you know dad doesn’t like us buying things without his permission,let us write to him and get his permission, then we will buy the budgie” I was 10 then, and now at 35 she still hasn’t written the letter to my dad. I made a promise to myself then that I would never do the same to my kids and still make sure that I only promise what I can honour. I have even driven around KL looking for a pasar malam, so I could give my daughter jagong that I promised to buy. But the seller near my home was sick and didn’t open his stall. I drove to Ampang and bought her jagong the same day.

When she told me I don’t keep my promise i was angry with her. Because as a mother, i felt hurt, even after making sure that all my promises are kept, she still expects more from me. I don’t have any more to give and I told her to go to school without a kiss.. And I know that was mean.