Yesterday I saw an ad in our local paper about a woman searching for her dad, who abandoned her mother 30 years ago.All she wanted to know is, if he is still alive. It got me thinking. Life is too short, whatever happend, my dad is still my father whether he liked it or not.
I haven’t seen or spoken to him for more than 12 years. I was too scared to open the part of life that has been closed all these years. Wasn’t really sure how he would react. I tried delaying myslef giving one excuse or the other.. The time difference, was a major concern. eventually i convinced myself if I don’t call him now, I may never do it. I took my phone book. Looked for his number and dialled..I met with a long silence.. no operator..nothing,, His number is no longer in service… That number is all I have of my dad. All these years, I was under the secure knowledge that, dad can always be reached by one single phone call. It never occured to me that, he could have changed the number.
I called my mom and my sisters.. all of us have the same number..The code is correct..So only explanation is he has changed his address and his number.What is worst is all these years we never bothered to find out anything about my father.. We don’t even know if he is alive. I must have really taken things for granted..
My fondest memory of dad is, him taking me for the fun ride. I was too short and he had to carry me on his shoulders, so I could see things. I felt like a princess sitting on his shoulder( he is 6 feet tall!!) and watching the world.
I didn’t speak to him, because I wanted to punish him for walking out on mom and us. Was i right? I don’t know. I guess I was stuck in the loyalty line between dad and mom. I can’t undo the past. But right now, I very much would like to know if he is alive.. and that is going to be a task