Years ago, while living in Canada, I was at my Pakistani friend’s house when the postman delivered the mail. She is a very traditional Pakistani woman and I didn’t agree to a lot of her parenting ideologies. She wouldn’t let her kids attend the school dance, prom etc and was paranoid about every second her kids spent outside her home. But what happened that day was something I will never forget.
So, she collected the mail from the mail box. Rushed inside, quickly opened the letter and then yelled “yesss”
I thought she won the lottery and can you believe how shocked I was when I learned that what she was holding was an Infringement notice (skipping the red light) from RCMP with a photo of her son’s car skipping the red light.
I thought my friend had gone in to shock, how else can you explain such a weird reaction.
After seeing my puzzled face, she explained
“You have no idea, how many days I have been waiting for something like this. My son had recently got his license and I was worried about him speeding. There is nothing more terrifying than receiving a ticket from the police. It teaches you that you are not a kid anymore, but an adult and there are rules to follow and consequences to face for not following the rules. After today, my son will be even more cautious while driving”
I thought about and felt she was right and saved the lesson in my head.
My son got his first speeding ticket. 20 KM over the limit!. He not only had to pay 259$ fine, he will have to drive like a granny till next April, cause if he gets one more demerit point, he will lose his license.
You have no idea how long I have been waiting to receive this particular letter. When my son came home, I gave him the letter and left it at that.I didn’t yell at him. I didn’t scold him. which is even more harder for kids to deal with, for they are used to being admonished for doing something wrong. But now he is almost an adult, he doesn’t need admonishing. He needs to man up and face life.. He was miserable, but I do know that this was a really valuable lesson.
So true,
Yelling only makes the recipient deaf, indignant or rebellious
Thanks for sharing. We will have our share of these lessons to come
ra 🙂
This always holds true. You learn best through your own experiences/hardships whatever. Like they say, experience is the best experience. Yelling, lectures never work. Sometimes adversities are needed :p
J1206 : 🙂