This is going to be a contentious post. Read at your own peril.


Last weekend, one of my children (we will call the person child in this post) told me that there is a party the child wants to attend and there will be weed and alcohol. I was asked if I was ok with the child smoking weed?

This was in contrast to a friend who came to me  a year ago to ask for advice as she found weed in her son’s room. She freaked out, screamed and yelled at the child, punished him, then went to the priest and made her son confess to the priest. The atmosphere at home was unbearable  and her son was no longer talking to her. But she was not interested in fixing that, all she wanted to know from me (because I am medically qualified) was how to find out if her son was still smoking weed?

There was much I wanted to tell her, but I knew she was not going to listen to me. So I told her what she wanted to hear. You can do a saliva test(drug alert kit), which will show positive in the first 24 hours.

So, weed.. also known as Marijuana.. it has been around since time immemorial. Plenty are people who smoked weed.

The first question that needs to be asked is why kids want to smoke weed?

Children often want to take drugs for the curiosity factor. How does it feel to be high?

Sometimes, it is out of boredom,

Sometimes it is out of parental neglect and wanting to teach the parents a lesson. (hurt the people who hurt you, even it at the expense of self harm)

Sometimes it is because they have reached the end of their tethers and need something that will help them face another day.

The second question is the safety

Medically, there are two hypothesis.

1.Weed is known to  cause psychotic symptoms in a healthy child who wouldn’t otherwise have it if the child didn’t smoke weed.

2. Weed may precipitate psychosis in children who are predisposed to acquiring psychosis related disorders.

So, much as weed is considered a safe drug(as compared to the rest of the hallucinogens), it still comes with a lot of risk.


Weed is illegal in most countries.  THC metabolism is a bit tricky as it is  hydrophobic and tend to stay around in your cells for a while, it can stay on your saliva for 24 hours and your blood for a week. So no driving for minimum 24 hours after smoking weed. Besides, one should never drink/take drugs and drive. That is a big No.


There are good weed, bad weed, really bad weed. You should read about how to judge the quality of your weed.


What is your plan? Once you have learned how it feels to be high, are you planning to smoke regularly? Can you afford it? Will it affect your job prospects(most companies now do random drug tests)

How did I deal with it?

First of all, my child didn’t have to tell me or ask my permission. I wouldn’t have known if the said child smoked weed if they didn’t tell me. So, it is a good thing that the child and I share a relationship where we can talk about things like this very open.

I discussed with the child all of what I wrote above.

And said yes.

12 thoughts on “Drugs

  1. Weed is enticing as it is forbidden, once you get a taste of how it is, the excitement quickly wears off. Also, you are such a cool mom.

    • DD: Thank you, but why bother using a proxy? Like I mentioned before, I have near perfect eidetic memory, so it is a waste of time and energy to use proxy.

  2. I’m not sure about this approach – will the child take it as a blanket consent to indulge in as much weed as possible. Also what about the danger of the child “extending” the consent to other more sinister substances. Also there is always the danger of a police raid (it could start being as innocuous as a noise complaint by a neighbor but turn out to be a full fledged raid) – Maybe I’m overthinking since I’m a worrier.

    • Goutham: Think of it this way. What if your child knows you will not give consent and sneak behind you and smoke all the weed in the world, attend a party without you knowing and then there is a police raid due to noise complaint? The truth is, regardless of your agreement, your child will smoke weed and drink alcohol if that is something they want to do.You need to cultivate the kind of relationship where your child can come and talk to you and do things a bit safely.
      The stats tell you the read story.
      According to the 2007 National Drug Strategy Household Survey, cannabis was used at least once by one-third of all Australians aged 14 years or older, and 1.6 million people reported using cannabis in the preceding 12 months. Of 12- to 15-year-olds, 2.7% reported using cannabis in the previous 12 months, compared with 15% of 16- and 17-year-olds and 19% of 18- and 19-year-olds.
      Males aged 14 years or older were more likely than their female counterparts to have ever used cannabis (37.1% versus 30.0%), and one in five teenagers aged 14 to 19 reported having used cannabis. Of the entire population, those aged 30 to 39 years were the most likely (54.6%) to have used cannabis at some time in their lives.
      The stats are pretty much the same for US.
      In QLD where I live, even if there was a police raid, they have to offer diversion as we have the harm minimization policy.

  3. Dear blogger, it was by chance that I found your blog. And couldn’t stop until I had read all that you had written over the years. As you mentioned it was a sort of catharsis. But I wished you had written all this in a book which you could have published. For it is as good as Arundathi Roy’s ” God of small things”. Keep writing.You are one gifted writer!!.

  4. Wise and thoughtful decision. Unless the parent locks up a kid after saying no way or something equally drastic, the kid is going to do what the kid wants to do.

    Tough call, takes a lot to do what u did. Some parents think they know their kids inside out, but are clueless how mistaken they are and will probably never find out.

  5. I had it at the age of 18, Ganja, but we prefer to call it Mary Jane. The thrill was buying it. Going to a shop selling earthen pots and ask for a “pothi” -pack- as if a regular customer. He lifts one pot and takes out one. The first time, after smoking I felt damn hungry. Then 4 or 5 more times. I felt it bad and I didn’t go for it afterwards. .Then after many years, in Mumbai, I started it and began enjoying. That was really good stuff and the feeling was really fantastic. It went for for 5-6 months, most of the day under its marvellous effect. The guy who supplied me was under hallucination always and told me continue to reach that stage.Then I thought. OK. it is time to stop and I stopped. It is my experience. It is very difficult to move away from it once you start enjoying it.

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