Last night Yaya completed 100 hours on the road driving as part of getting her P plate.

The also has been the worst 100 hours of my life.

The first few weeks, she was only going too close to the curb, driving through the round about etc..The moment she realized she is getting better at driving, especially after driving on the highway the first time, she also became a typical cocky teenager..

Recently, at a T junction, she needed to take a left turn and did such a wide turn at high speed that she almost hit an oncoming car on the opposite lane.

“Yaya, slow down” I said and which resulted in her telling me, she knows the rules and the speed limit and that I don’t need to tell her those things and also that she has eyes to see that she did a wide turn.

She refuses to do shoulder check  on merging in residential areas because chances are that there won’t be other cars on the road and she couldn’t be bothered. Besides, her driving instructor has told her that at the time she goes for her road test, they only look for 5 shoulder checks. The fact that shoulder checks saves lives ( hers, pedestrians, cyclists etc) has fallen in to deaf ears.

Few weeks ago, she offered to drive us to the beach. There was a B double on the left lane going at 110 km/hr. She is in the middle lane, travelling at 110 km/hr. Then she felt thirsty, with one hand on the wheel,  eyes off the road and still at 110 km/hr she reached for the drink.. We missed going under the wheels of B double by few seconds. Her defence? Everyone makes a mistake once in a while and mom can’ talk because she drives with one hand on the steering wheel anyway.

My friends tell me that she will get a reality check soon enough when she has her first accident.

I am terrified..

8 thoughts on “100

  1. Not to be too blunt, but the way she drives will most likely cause a major accident that can definitely involve a loss of life if she doesn’t realize it already. Your defense can be “yes everyone makes mistakes but the mistake you are making will definitely kill if you are not paying attention to your surroundings” (something like this). On a driving exam she would have definitely failed. And yes not looking over the shoulder (which is a HUGE thing) will definitely cause an accident. I think you should be firm with her and warn her this is not a “mistake” than can be let off the hook and she can just can get over with as it will definitely have very severe consequences that she will have to face if there is an accident and lives are involved. And perhaps this can cause her to lose her driving privilege. In the US, this can cost you your license for good where you won’t probably be able to drive again. Just saying only cause no one wants her to go through all the turmoil due to uncareful driving.

    • J1206: I assume every time your parents told you about risks, you followed through their advice..and never got yourself in any trouble.

      • Depends on what it is. For driving though yea they do advice but I can see where they are coming from, especially since I knew a few people from high school who drove similar to Yaya and ended with not so pleasant endings, so I kind of see the perspective. I would rather be very cautious and careful rather than having myself killed where I could have easily controlled the situation or have my license taken away forever and never being able to drive again d/t carelessness (I don’t have a car as of now and it can suck to commute via bus/shuttle all the time, trust me on that.). Yaya defintiely deserves the priviledge to drive and it would be horrible to have that taken away or have something happen to her. That’s why I felt it would be best to really talk to her about this.

        • J1206: One of the main reasons for conflicts between parents and children are that, the parents forget that they themselves didn’t obey their own parents..I didn’t obey any of my mother’s rules or listened to her advice. Advice is free and cheap
          It is unfair on my child for me to expect her to do something that I myself haven’t done it.
          I have done my part. Before Yaya got behind wheel, I paid for her to attend a safe driving course, I explained to her about why we do certain things like shoulder checks. You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink. I am aware that part of the reason for her recklessness is biological..
          However, If Yaya lost her license, then she has to live with that consequences.. not me.

          • But wouldn’t it affect you as a mom if she ended up really killing someone/ get killed herself with unsafe driving? (Before you ask, yeah, I am one of those who followed most of the instructions my parents gave me about life altering events like driving unsafely. lol) And I am not asking this in a condescending way, just like to know about all different kinds of parenting. God knows how I screw up mine being over cautious. 😉

          • Thumbi: Everyday in US 6 children between the age of 16-19 die due to RTA. Here in Australia, 45% of all deaths are due to RTA and of that 75% of the deaths are between the age 17 to 19.
            Your question is pretty silly..no parent ever wish to bury their child. Every one of those parents whose children die on the road would have done everything in their power to keep their children alive. Do you think, they never talked to their children about risks? danger?Do you think those children weren’t aware of the risks?
            Short of locking Yaya in a cave and throwing the key away for the next 4 years, there is nothing I can do. Talking to her is pointless because her brain hasn’t developed to understand that gravity of the risks she is taking.
            When I said Yaya has to live with the consequences, I didn’t mean that my life wouldn’t be affected. It will, but the consequences are worst for her than me. I have done my job as a parent and there is a point where I have to say there is nothing more I could do. I am honest enough to admit my powerlessness.

          • Well I didn’t intend my post about obeying parents and I was not saying that she needs to obey. or that you need to place expectations on her. But talking with her about the consequences of her driving may help realize the way she drives can lead to unwanted situations. Obviously it’s her choice, but I mean it doesn’t hurt to talk with her about it.

            I know for sure no one really obeys their parents, at least in this age and time. I don’t always obey my parents if there are things that I don’t agree with as they are not too progressive (mom at least) and can’t think beyond. But they do advice me on certain issues like this and it does make me think more about what happens regarding the choices I make. Just saying 🙂

          • J1206: Your point was to have a talk with my child with the assumption that she will listen to me. My point was, like you, most teenagers don’t listen to their parents.

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