I know there are various categories of parenting.. here are few types.

I don’t really know what type of parenting I do. I have had consistent rules for my kids since they were born and they were all based on one simple fact ‘respect’.

I respect their right to be a child ( teenagers now) and now their life revolves around their mobile phones.

A lot of parenting guides talk about restricting children’s access to social media, checking their accounts etc.

I do not restrict my children’s access to social media.

I raised them well and expect that they know when is a good time to chat with their friends. They have to make that decision, I don’t want to do it for them. As I said so many times before, every rule my mother set that restricted my rights as an individual, I broke them without her knowing and I know without any doubt that so will my children.

I read this article and I thought, that is exactly why I have never asked my children to hand in their mobile every evening. ( My friend’s daughter used an old ipod touch when her parents took her mobile away every evening and her parents had no clue) You don’t want your children to do things behind your back. If they are going to talk to their friends at 2 AM, they should do so in front of you. With the amount of school work and deadlines kids have, the last thing they would do is to talk to their friends in the middle of the night.. and even if they do,  there is often a reason for it. ( My son once told me he talked to a friend at 3 AM because his friend was upset with something and needed someone to talk to and was so grateful that my son cared enough to talk to him in his darkest hour)

It is not too hard to raise children without having too much of conflicts and anger and without making them finding ways to cheat you. All you need is to remember that they are your children and they are smarter than you.



6 thoughts on “Restrictions.

  1. This is so true for Asian children…the amount of control, restrictions, expectations and emotional turmoil they go through if they go out of bounds leads them to do things behind your back and sometimes when the stress is incredibly high, unwanted actions. Last year three malayalee kids disappeared out of nowhere, 2 are dead now and the other, (whom I did know as he was one of my cousin’s best buddies), is still missing. A few years back, one of my good friends’ Indian college classmate, who was an exceptional straight A student, committed suicide in his dormitory. I guess he have had enough with stress and the pressure he had. I’ve done things behind my parents’ back just to loosen up a bit from stress or get things done in peace and w/o invasion, and there’s no harm in having a little fun as long you are mature and responsible for yourself. There are so many incidents of this among Asian kids (very high among chinese and koreans too) where suicide happens due amount of control, manipulation that is used for “success”. It’s sad and such a shame. I can write a lot on this, but I’ll stop for now. It’s good you don’t oppose restrictions on your children and raised them to believe that they are free to make choices as long as they are mature and responsible. You’re a very good parent as you let your kids make mistakes, don’t guilt trip them, and allow them to voice out their feelings openly. My maternal family is a different story and they are all pretty horrible when it comes to open discussions (always a fight and the “I’m right you’re not” attitude)

  2. All won’t go well always as expected. The same kids you brought up like you explained may turn away to a different behaviour. Just half is the rearing problem ( valarthu dosham) the other half the natural instincts inside them which is not in consonant with your ideas. An example. You talk lot about your mother. Then how you become like this?

    • Bipin: I am not sure what is your point. Do you mean that bad mothers raise bad children who then become bad mothers? Would good people only have good children who inturn will become good mothers?
      I am an awesome mother because I knew from my own life experience what not to do. That was a good lesson my mother taught me

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