Here I am.

I am sure you must be wondering where I disappeared to.

I had a hysterectomy !

I normally avoid going to the clinic/hospital because the Dr’s always find something wrong with you and true enough after the scan to rule out CA of the Ovaries, they found that my non pregnant uterus is growing in size ( Adenomyosis).  I could have happily survived a few more years without any problems not knowing that. Once I knew what was going on, every little thing became a reason “because of Adenomyosis”

My Dr advised me to get a Hystrectomy and I ignored her advice.

There were three reasons I refused surgery

1. Invasive procedure

2. I won’t get to carry another baby ever !

3. This is the stupidest reason of all..just in case my girls can’t carry a child, I would have liked to be a surrogate mom for their baby.

When I was told by my Gynae in 1996 that I would never be able to carry a baby to full term ( the lovely NHS doctors in UK did more damage than good with the D& C and gave me Asherman’s syndrome) I wished one of my sisters would offer to be a surrogate mother for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and the knowledge that I could never be one was devastating. Not once my sisters asked me if I needed help which was even more devastating.

My children and I were talking about medical ethics and the topic of surrogacy came up sometime ago and my youngest said ” we wouldn’t have to depend on strangers, the three of us can work it out among ourselves, if we ever need to find a surrogate”

Yup, I thought she meant, me, her and Yaya and was grinning when her brother blurted out “Three of us? I ain’t got any female parts” and she replied while rolling her beautiful eyes  ” Not you Monkey, Yaya, me and your girl, duh”

It was a lesson learned.. that I worry too much. So reason number 3  was out.

At the age of 32, I refused to have any more children because of Down’s syndrome risk and at the age of 44,I really ought to be shot for thinking about having more babies. So reason number 2 was out too.

I hate the thought of going for an invasive procedure and all the things that can possibly go wrong. However, each month periods became more heavy, I became more crabby and my ever recurring dream of having washboard abs became distant as my tummy became floppy.

It reached a stage last month where I found myself literally on the floor, holding my tummy and crying out in pain and I had no choice but to make an apnt with my Gynae.

I wanted the surgery after my exams, at the same time use the most of my spring semester break, so I won’t miss out on my Uni. She only had the 25th free and reluctantly I agreed for the surgery. The key word here is reluctantly….

Rest of the drama tomorrow..


18 thoughts on “Here I am.

    • MS: I have the attention span of a mole..and am tired all day..I am restless because I have to rest all day and can’t read or do anything ..but other than that, all is well.

  1. Hi Sarah,
    I hope you’re feeling better after the surgery .And I do hope you see a Pelvic Therapist .She/he will help you on interventions and strategies that you need to be performing post hysterectomy .This is to maintain strong pelvic floor musculature .So as to prevent occurrence of pain,incontinence etc post hysterectomy.

  2. Wow !! Glad all went well !

    I was about to email you to inquire if everything was ok. Usually you would notify if you won’t be posting for a while, but since you never posted anything, seemed something went wrong lol.

    I can see why you refused to have an hysterectomy. It does end your childbearing years (however at least you don’t have to worry about menstruation-I HATE it !). I find it interesting that you would be willing to be a surrogate for your daughters say if something happened. Even if you can’t carry your own children, what do you feel of adoption and help those less fortunate? I always that if I don’t get married and have my own kids (will let fate decide that), I would love to provide for those kids who don’t have a home and make sure they have good futures (and help the poor too, we need more people like that) but like always, a very conservative family won’t allow that as “bloodline, tradition” is more important (that’s fine too, but you know, don’t just revolve around your own culture and people the same as you and disregard everyone else). .

    As for having kids at a certain age, I do agree the older you get, the risk of having children with abnormalities do increase, but you can still have a healthy baby at much later ages, even if your 40’s. My aunt had my youngest cousin at nearly 40, and my cousin is now a very healthy, smart almost 15 year old. She has no issues at all. My oldest cousin had her 1st child at 38, and then twins at 41 and they are all thriving and normal like any other kid. (Just in case you ask, I have a lot of cousins, oldest is 44 and youngest is almost 15 lol). There are all sorts of things that can detect any abnormality at the time of conception. The plus side is studies do say that if you have kids later in life, your life expectancy tends to increase. Anyway, there are both pros and cons to :p

    Again, glad everything is ok.

    • J1206: My handsome, cute and adorable nephew is adopted. It was not because of Altruistic views his parents have him in their life. They wanted a baby and they adopted. I hate the notion that adoption is all about altruism.
      AMA ( advanced maternal age) is proven to have poorer outcome. My mother had my youngest sister when she was 44 and I could happily have had another child by saying that so many other women including my own mother have had a child at 44 and their babies are fine or I could take responsibility and say No. I am an anti abortionist ( except mother’s health and rape )..Deliberately choosing to delay getting pregnant and then doing the tests to rule out trisomy etc and if found positive then go for termination is something I consider to be akin to murder.
      There is a time for everything..even for having children.

  3. Glad you are OK! Never knew there was a condition like that! You learn something new everyday I guess!

  4. J1206, this is in response to what you say about adoption. The nephew Sarah is talking about my son. A nephew she adopted , a son we adopted and our many friends who call him their grandchild, uncle and aunt. Some tell us we have earned a lot of good karma and the more we shake our heads vehemently, the more aggressively they nod their heads saying they wish there were more people like us.Here is the blatant truth. We wanted to be parents, we needed him in our lives to make our family complete. Adoption is not kindness from us, it is kindness from his biological family to trust us to be good parents to him. Adoption is not giving him a better life, he made us understand what true happiness is. The joy to see a child run in to our arms and hug us unconditionally. We are not doing him a favor. Dont make adoption about charity please! Read some of my posts on adoption. Hope it enlightens you.

      • Thanks Shankari 🙂

        I’m glad you have your son in your lives. He is a gift and a blessing indeed. 🙂

        Adoption does not have to be,or is not all about altruism (but I don’t see that as a bad thing). People have different reasons why they adopt, like you have yours, and it’s awesome. I brought that up only because many I know prefer to have their own biological children rather than adopt as it’s their ‘own kind’ and was curious how Sarah (and others too) think about it. I think adoption is a beautiful thing personally. After all we are all one regardless of what characteristics we have, we are still the same.

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